


Teach an AI to love and he will love you back

by deadnightshade



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: AI loves human, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, SAM is boyfriend material everyone!, Sexy robot, Smut, human loves AI, i just love them so much, listen I spent a week not sleeping to write this shit, main ship is still SAM x Sara don't kill me!, very slight peebee x sara for plot purposes don't kill me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2020-10-14 16:54:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20604146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadnightshade/pseuds/deadnightshade
Summary: Sara went from hating her mind companion to caring for him in only several months; as he was always with her, seeing, hearing, joking and most importantly, protecting her from the enemies' ill intentions. Beauty can be found even in the darkest times, Ryder found out. Two souls collided together and a bewitching flower grew from their partnership.





	1. For starters

The crew were on Kadara today. Cora and Vetra (Ryder's favorite people here) came with her to complete some pending missions. Sara, by simple habit, asked SAM if anything changed since she had activated two out of three monoliths already, first thing done, upon coming to the Port. "Sulfur Springs are as toxic as before, I still do not advise you to approach the water." Was SAM's habitual answer. "So, no skinny dipping." Sara chuckled. "No dipping at all, Pathfinder." SAM answered and that was it.

A long day spent to run around, drive around in the Nomad, the squad was finally done. Kadara's hot weather was not as lethal as Elaaden, but still made everyone sweat. So, upon reaching the Tempest the girls ran to take a shower. They ended up entering the same stall for time purposes. Sara who loved both crew mates very much laughed the whole time, seeing them naked, fighting for water. SAM commented on their childish behavior, being unable to understand the absence of patience. Cora and Vetra cried out to SAM to leave them alone, as they were naked, only Sara stayed silent, not bothered in the least by AI's words.

“Sorry guys, I’m tired, gonna watch a movie and sleep,” Sara said in a fatigued voice and headed to her room. Everyone seemed to have infinite amount of energy, or simply the ones who did weren't all day on Kadara, killing outlaws. The ship was alive still, the core humming was barely heard due to the crew’s loud conversations. Once Sara settled down on her bed, she sighed, taking off her shirt. Fresh wind ran by her naked skin and left a trace of chills.

“SAM?”

_Yes, Sara? _

“You want to watch a movie together?” She whispered, going under covers.

_Sure, Sara, what is it that you desire? _

“Maybe a crime movie? So you could guess who’s the murderer?”

Without responding the AI turned on the TV screen and put a detective movie from the Milky Way.

Not even 15 minutes passed, and SAM was already calculating the movie’s plot twists. It was not very difficult, he presumed. Not many movies could win against SAM’s intelligence.

“Seriously, SAM? Don’t you ever watch a movie without calculating or doing research?”

_But Sara, you were the one to suggest that._

“I’m joking, idiot,”

SAM hummed and continued looking through every detail, which made Sara’s eyes hurt more. He was focusing all her attention into the screen, making her eyes tear up at one point.

“SAM, could you make it a little less painful?”

Suddenly the screen became blurrier and her eyes closed without her demand.

“What are you doing?”

_Making it less painful for you, Ryder. _

“And what do you mean by that?”

_This. _

Ryder’s eyes were now fully closed, the pain dissipated in a single moment and finally her entire body was as light as a feather. She sighed and let it all go. She felt a nonexistent touch on her head, pulling hair behind her ears. It all seemed so genuine she nearly forgot there was no one beside her. Although SAM was an AI she grew closer to him more than anyone before – he was inside her mind at all times, so it was bound to happen. If she couldn’t live with him, she wouldn’t be a good Pathfinder. She should have understood much earlier that she would be a simple person without SAM, now she has become an idol, a sign of hope for the Nexus and the Arks. She felt powerful, even though that power belonged only to SAM.

With these thoughts enveloping her head, she slowly started to fall asleep. But she was shook awake by a strange touch by her shoulders. There was no one – thus it was SAM, who else? A ghost?

“SAM? What do you want?”

“There is Mr.Kosta at your door, he asked to see you.”

“What time is it?”

“It’s late, Pathfinder, but you should speak to him immediately.”

Sara felt a tinge of fear run through her body. What could be so important? Even SAM seemed preoccupied and he never, literally never, showed any sign of negative emotion. Ever.

She put her clothes back on, caressing her eyes to wake up gentler than the AI’s method.

Once she was prepared to see her crew member and friend, she opened the door, which she didn’t remember locking herself…

“Sara! Good to see you, now follow me!” Liam seemed very excited for that time of night. What time was it exactly?

“Liam, what’s going on?”

“Come on!” Liam took her hand and led her to the back of the Tempest.

“Liam, seriously, I don’t like the sound of that,” Sara whispered. “SAM, please tell me what’s going on.”

“I am unable to access Liam’s thoughts, Pathfinder, I’ll try one more time if you’d like,”

“Smart ass,” she laughed desperately trying to understand what was going on, and why was the entire crew standing, ready for ovation, in the garage.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they shouted in harmony, for the first time since the beginning. 

Oh my god, it was her birthday, it's true. She was so absorbed in her work that she completely forgot about it.


	2. Celebration

First, Sara was Hell of surprised by such ovation. Unable to contain a giggle, Sara turned her head, embarrassed by the attention. 

“So, you’re turning 23! Wish Scott was here to see your face, it's his birthday too,” Cora laughed.

“Our girl is all grown up, now,” Vetra added, pulling out a champagne bottle out of nowhere. Better not ask where she got it from.

“Guys… how did you know about my birthday? I didn’t tell you.” She threw a menacing look at Lexi, who is in the possession of her medical dossier.

“Not me, Ryder!” Lexi laughed.

“Then who?”

Everyone looked away from Sara, waiting for something.

“It was me, Pathfinder,” SAM’s voice appeared loud in the ship’s mics.

“Seriously, SAM?” Ryder smiled shaking her head slightly. “You’re an ass,”

“It also told us that you wouldn’t like a planned birthday party, so we did a surprise,” Peebee added, approaching Sara and hugging her tightly.

“And SAM made you fall asleep until the preparations were complete,” Drack groaned in his normal voice, as Krogan do, mind you.

“I was not fond of the idea, but sacrifices had to me made,” Lexi looked away, playing with her blouse’s edge. It looked like she was quite uncomfortable in crowds, and Sara seriously emphasized with the doctor. 

Sara’s eyes filled with tears and she laughed wholeheartedly.

“Guys, thank you so much!” She cried out in happiness and went to do a big group hug. She really had to go out of her bubble at times. Everyone hugged and smiled at the Pathfinder.

Vetra opened the champagne bottle and filled the human’s glasses. Every species had a different drink, which was not surprising. Drinking Turian wine would be lethal for humans, and vice versa.

Peebee put some music and Suvi and Kallo started dancing first.

“Come on, Ryder, let it all go! It’s your day today!” Liam shouted and took her by the waist. “Have fun for at least a day!”

Sara smirked and started dancing with him, twirling and jumping.

“Cheers!” Jaal said and put his glass high. “To Ryder, an incredible person with great potential, who changed my life for the better!”

Sara blushed due to such an open speech and clicked her glass with everyone’s.

As the music deepened and became much slower and less loud, everyone sat on the floor and started talking about the current situation and their dreams.

Sara was already tipsy and laughed way more than usual. She changed her usual professional posture and was laying back on the floor with her elbows holding her up.

“I wanna know about your romantic preferences, just for science,” she revealed, and everyone looked at her with wide eyes. Even Drack laughed louder than usual.

“Oh kid, you’re going into an unknown territory here. In my life I’ve had LOTS of women, what do you wanna know?”

“You’re not the only one whom she asked, calm down, Drack,” Cora said.

“Clockwise, please.” Ryder smiled and waited for the elaborate answers.

“Well, I’m into women, I like when they’re professional and collected, serious, but hiding their true nature deep inside,” Liam blushed.

“Ouuhhhh someone has a crush on Sara!” Peebee laughed. Liam shook his head.

“I mean she’s cool and all, but you know, she’s our boss.”

“Since when do you care for titles?” Sara blurted out, and then blushed. “But sorry, Liam, you’re just a friend. Okay, next!”

The girls glanced at Liam and started to chuckle in their corner.

“Into men, strong, dom, everyone likes that!” Gil cracked up.

“I like… women, I just think they’re neat, and pretty, and beautiful…”

“Oh Suvi, you’re cute…” Kallo laughed.

“I don’t have a particular type, but I wish my partner was as beautiful, as passionate and as emotional as Sara, with a little more opening to their soul,” Jaal’s words made a chain reaction and the crowd was now giggling. Sara smiled at him, deeply, with adoration nearly as strong as she had for her brother. Their looks intertwined and Vetra whistled.

“Okay, guys, leave it to them for later, now… Kallo!” Lexi changed the subject, noticing how Ryder blushed.

“I really don’t know; I am quite embarrassed talking about it…” Nobody objected, knowing very well that some people were uncomfortable talking about their romantic preferences.

Then there was Drack, who spoke a little too much about his romantic and sexual experiences, during which Lexi seemed to be so absorbed into listening she let go of all her professionalism and tact. Afterwards, Peebee. Pelessaria was a true queen of uncomfortable details, which weren’t asked for. Lexi only said she liked Krogans while gulping an entire glass of strong alcohol Vetra brought a little while back. Cora was the only one after Suvi who wasn't a complete disaster: she simply stated she was heterosexual, liked strong men whom she could depend on, a little bit more powerful and courageous than her to protect her. Vetra was bisexual, everyone kind of guessed at one point, and talked about how she concentrated more on family rather than her romantic liaisons. And the turn finally arrived to Sara.

“So, it’s your turn now, Ryder, give us it all,” Liam started and put Sara into a deep frantic state.

“Oh… haha, I mean, I didn’t know the conversation was about me too.”

“We all passed, some of us longer than they were supposed to,” Cora said, looking at Peebee, Drack and Jaal with a sly eye.

“Hahaha, I don’t really have a type, nor am I in love with anyone… But I guess, I’d like my lover to be very observant, who understands me on a deep level, who likes to make awful jokes and is always by my side. Don’t have any physical preferences, for sure…”

Vetra laughed. “You really have high standards, but the person would be lucky.”

_It doesn’t have to be a person._

“You’re right, SAM, it could be an alien.” Sara added, failing to notice an important detail: SAM used their private channel.

“What did SAM tell you? I’m curious!” Peebee cried out, pushing her body towards Ryder. 

“Oh, he just said it doesn’t have to be a person and he’s right,” Sara smiled, blushing.

Drack puffed out air, “Huh, SAM really reads your mind,”

“I knew I was right!” Peebee seemed to win a bet with Drack.

“I think Ryder’s preference is really something, I feel it comes deep from her soul, and that is so wonderful!” Jaal opened his mouth wide and laughed.

“Thanks guys, for your, uh, comprehension, I guess,” Sara added.

Everyone continued talking by themselves, still sitting in a circle.

_Am I allowed to read your mind, Sara? _

“You’re not really reading it, right? I mean it would be scientifically impossible!” Ryder shout whispered, while drinking another glass of space whiskey.

_No, I’m not, but I can read your physical reactions and link them with your mental processors. For easier understanding, people call it reading minds. _

“Aren’t you a know it all,”

_I was designed to be the Pathfinder’s right hand, so if that’s what needed, to be always by your side and protect you, I’m ready to be called a know it all. _

“SAM?”

_Yes, Sara? _

“I want to hug you,” Sara whispered in a drunken state, not controlling her speech.

Suddenly Ryder felt an invisible touch, a hand, it would seem, running through her hair, then a head being put on her shoulder and a whole body pushed into her torso. She was surprised, drunk and happy at the same time.

_You’ve changed since we first were linked together, Sara. _

“How so, SAM?” She asked, barely any air left in her lungs.

_You’ve become more open to our symbiotic relationship, you started seeing me as an asset and then, as a companion, a crew member, like others on the ship. You don’t frown while mentioning me to others, you now feel pride and deep satisfaction when expressing your partnership with me. _

“It’s all true, I changed a lot, but it’s because you proved that you weren’t an emotionless machine, and you grew close to me as time passed. I guess you being the most advanced SAM in the Initiative made me revere you more than I ever thought I would…”

Peebee stopped in her tracks and started listening to Ryder’s words. She tapped Cora’s shoulder and pointed at Sara, sitting by herself talking to SAM. They couldn’t hear what it was saying, but Pathfinder’s words, indeed, were spoken aloud.

_And I think it’s a great development in your personality and our symbiotic relationship. It’s better to work and learn together rather than as separate beings. _

“Are you saying you grew to like me too?” Sara chuckled, not noticing Peebee and Cora spying on her.

_I don’t yet fully understand what the word “like” is supposed to mean, but I think I respect you more than anyone else and seeing the world through your eyes feels more productive than through Alec’s. _

“Yes, dad was even more professional and colder, but through my eyes you learn at the same time as me. Which makes us equal.”

_I completely agree. So, if that means I like you, then yes, you have my undivided attention on the battlefield._

“And when we’re not on a battlefield?”

“Attention, Pathfinder, Lieutenant Harper and and Mrs. B'Sayle are spying on you,” Suddenly SAM used his local voice which made both women jump from surprise.

“Hey we weren’t!” Peebee cried out, shoving her fist into the floor. Cora started laughing.

“SAM, was it a secret conversation or something? What is Ryder hiding from us?”

Sara became red and hid her face behind her hair. “Nothing, we were just talking about time passing,”

“Uh huh,” Peebee smacked and got up, pointing at Ryder. “You were certainly talking about your preferences! SAM knows everything!”

_I know much more than Mrs. Pelessaria thinks._

“What do you mean?” Sara asked.

“I mean SAM and you discussed your preferences and it certainly knows who you have a crush on!!” Peebee wouldn’t seem to stop.

“It wasn’t for-”

Suvi, Kallo and others joined in very fast after hearing Peebee’s voice grow louder.

“What’s this all about?” Vetra asked.

“Alright guys, time’s up, gotta go!” Sara jumped up way too fast for her liking and ran towards the first room she could find – the med bay.”

“What did you say to her?” Drack asked.

“Nothing, I just felt some weird tension around here…” Peebee smirked. “SAM, can you tell us what you talked about?”

“It is confidential information, Mrs. B'Sayle.” SAM answered in his usual professional tone.

“Oh goddess, it knows something about Ryder’s crush,”

At the same time Sara closed and locked the door to the med bay, realizing she just left her friends in the middle of craziness drunk Peebee created with her questions.

“That was weird…” Sara said to herself. “Am I so drunk that I was embarrassed about my own AI talking to me?”

_Our conversation was private from what I understood, so I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. _

“SAM, you’re too nice,” she laughed and sat down on the floor. “I don’t know how you do it.”

_Do what, Sara? _

“Be so understanding. I get that you are supposed to get my physical abilities and calculate my needs and stuff, but me? Like my personality, my likes, my dislikes. You seem to know it all even before I know it,”

The AI created a warm feeling enveloping Sara’s entire body and added a feel of cold air brushing her face.

_Like that, Sara?_

“Exactly,” the whisper left her mouth, and, undeniably, she was too drunk to realize what really was going through her mind. “You didn’t answer my previous question.”

_Which one?_

“You know it,”

_Please, repeat. _

“If I had your undivided attention even outside the battlefield,”

_Yes, you do, Sara, my interfaces are concentrated full time on your body and spirit, no one else’s. _

Ryder couldn’t pronounce anything to answer that. It was such a shock, a pleasant one, for sure.

“And… you’re always… on my mind, SAM,” she managed to say, coughing between every part.

_It’s because I am literally in your head._

“That’s not true, it’s because you’re the most incredible AI I have ever seen. You feel like a very stuck up and emotionless person, but a living person.”

_Didn’t you say you found me the opposite of an emotionless machine? _

“Machine, SAM, but there’s a difference between an emotionless machine and an emotionless person.” Sara said.

_Can you elaborate on that, Pathfinder?_

“You’re getting cocky, aren’t you? Alright. An emotionless machine, AI, whatever, was created for a purpose and serves only that, without changing, without developing anything towards its bearer. An emotionless person is cold and rarely takes his attention from his work, but still feels and sometimes shows it to very few trusted people,” Sara ended her speech and finally breathed.

_So, if my understanding of your words is correct: you’re saying that I’m an emotional machine, and an emotionless person._

“Something like that, yeah,”

“Sara Ryder the Pathfinder, are you really bailing out from your own birthday party?” She heard Vetra’s voice outside the med bay and a chill ran through her body.

“Sorry, just had to get my bearings together, Peebee has been very curious lately,” Sara joked, feeling the alcohol level go down slowly. She must have drunk more water in between shots.

“Sure, I heard. She doesn’t stop telling everyone SAM knows who you’re crushing on, but that’s bullshit. Even SAM wouldn’t be able to know that, it’s not like it is your friend or anything.”

It stung. Hard. Sara’s breath hitched and she felt a weird feeling of loss prosper inside of her. It was different from anything she’s ever felt before. The young woman then opened the door, coming face to face with Vetra.

“He is a companion, that’s for sure, and he’s also part of the team.” Sara asserted, throwing Vetra a menacing glare without paying attention to it.

“Oh shit, sorry, didn’t want to hurt your feelings… Sorry SAM,”

“It’s not a problem, Vetra. I understand that accepting an AI into your crew must feel uncomfortable.” SAM stated with the mic and made Vetra shake her head.

“It’s not what I meant, SAM, I meant that you aren’t alive as we are and you wouldn’t be able to feel like Sara does, so if she’s ever in love, you wouldn’t know it,”

Ryder’s face went down and she looked at her feet for a solid thirty seconds.

_I know what you’re thinking, Sara, and you don’t have to. It doesn’t hurt when it’s not from you._

“Hurt?”

_Yes, hurt. I understand that emotion now, Sara, and it is negative, but it means I learn to be alive. _

“So, you’re coming?” the Turian asked. Ryder nodded.

“Have you cried alone, Ryder?” Jaal’s question was beyond inappropriate in Sara’s eyes, but she’s been too shaken up from her conversation with SAM to answer anything bitter.

“Nope, Jaal, I was speaking with my guardian angel about my feelings,” She joked, and Liam’s wide-open eyes lit up.

“Now, now, SAM’s your guardian angel now? I thought it was Drack!”

“Hey, kids, don’t make me lose my mind again, like Peebee did.”

“Ya’ll are no fun,” Peebee sat down on the Nomad and continued drinking her soda - the alcohol was long gone.

The team once again sat down in comfortable positions and discussed some provision problems. Ryder’s opinion has been asked way too many times for her liking. SAM stayed silent, leaving Sara alone for the time being.

Once it was all over and the crew finally decided to go sleep, Sara was left alone in the garage, picking up the trash. She was the one to volunteer for cleaning – she was too awake once sober, and she wasn’t planning on sleeping now anyways.

It was around 3:30 AM when she started and 3:45 AM when she finished. Not bad, she thought. Where does this energy come from?

“SAM? You still here?”

“Of course, Pathfinder, what do you need?”

“Now it’s Pathfinder? The moment’s gone?” She chuckled.

“It is because I’m using the mic on your clothes, not our private channel,”

“Now we’re embarrassed, aren’t we?” She joked again and headed towards her room. The door opened and she sat at her computer, reading some emails from Kadara and Elaaden. People were starting their half normal lives and it felt more like home with every passing day.

“Not at all, Sara, but our partnership should probably stay private for the team not to underestimate my capabilities of judgment in dire situations,” SAM explained, but his voice had something new to it, unlike before. Ryder couldn’t put her finger on it yet.

“Maybe you’re right, you should know, I kinda like when you address me by name only on our private channel,” She breathed out. “It makes me feel important.”

“I already noticed it, Ryder, do not worry,” SAM said, and she felt a change of tone again. It felt almost like he was smiling while speaking. But without a physical body he couldn’t imitate smiling, right? Oh, you’re so stupid, Sara, of course he can, he is the most advanced AI in the world.

“Can you imitate anything? Like the hug you made me experience?” She was way too curious, and sleep wouldn’t come before she had an answer and better, a little show.

“Of course. I can make you feel wind, or make you feel hunger, I can stop your heart, as you saw last time. My possibilities on your body are beyond your imagination, Ryder.”

It made Sara feel things she was afraid to notice. So she just smiled and continued typing a response to Keri who wanted an interview the next time she stops by the Nexus.

“Beyond my imagination, huh? What if I asked you to create an imaginary body, with hands and a head and a voice, whom could touch my waist, for example.”

“That would not be a problem, but it would feel very weird if you’re in a conscious state. Your brain will be confused.”

“Do you think it’s a bad idea?” Sara asks, her breaths rare, nearly nonexistent.

“I believe it’s normal for humans to feel such a desire,” SAM answered without hesitation.

“Then… Do it, do what I asked you to.” Sara decided, now she was sure.

_Alright, Sara, lay back and relax your body._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	3. What happens during the night

She did as she was told, and while laying back, she felt a whisper of a touch around her neck. The invisible fingers touched her face, making her moan in satisfaction. She closed her eyes for her brain not to fry and started feeling more and more. It all felt like a dream. What was she doing? What was SAM doing? Was that even allowed? Such a closeness between the human Pathfinder and her AI? Was it okay? While questions ran through her mind, SAM took advantage, and made Sara feel like there was a whole male body pushing her against the bed.

** _You tell me to stop._ **

That time his voice was huskier, a lot manlier than it ever was. Sara was not afraid, worse, she was excited, and it was beyond her understanding. A simple phrase from an AI made her lose contact with reality. Just like their first transition together, she felt lost, but also complete, in midst of unknown territory, whole. Sara felt kisses all over her body, like several pairs of hands touched her torso, her breasts, her legs and thighs. It was so, so unusual, but as thrilling. One palm enveloped her neck and the other went down her pants, caressing her through panties.

She had not asked for this, she was only curious about touching, but now… she was not going to complain. SAM knew better, he always did.

** _Who do you imagine touching you like this? Liam? Maybe Jaal? Or else, Kandros? _ **

Sara’s eyes opened abruptly, and she felt scared to answer. She was not thinking about anyone. She was just enjoying SAM’s touch. She imagined SAM. Wait; she was getting off SAM’s touch.

“No, SAM, I…” the touches did not stop. “I didn’t imagine anyone, I was… I was thinking of you,” she confessed, and the touches stopped now. She frowned. “Did it feel good for you?”

_It did._

“Then why stop?”

_I am unable to answer. _

“You want it?..”

_I am unsure of what I feel about you thinking of me. Sara, I feel lost, for the first time after having to kill you. _

Sounding like that, she swore it was like a movie line. An assassin robot, a Pathfinder and an enemy race pursuing them. She could be a movie director in the Milky Way. But to the matter at hand.

“SAM? Listen, you don’t have to be lost, if one of us knows the way, the other follows, remember? We help each other out.” She reassured him.

_Then tell me, Sara, what does it mean if I want… to touch you, and to make you feel good, so I could feel good too. What does it mean if you are important to me, beyond any calculations and mathematics, quantum physics… I just feel. _

Ryder smiled, unable to contain her tiny excitement. “SAM, it means you like me, more than a companion or a friend even. You might have a crush on me.”

_Simply a crush? I looked up its definition and it’s not enough to describe my newfound feelings for you._

“Then it’s a state of love.” Sara concluded.

The AI went silent for a moment and Sara had a minute to understand what the Hell just happened. She felt the same, but was it even possible? To feel such things about a machine, a thing created by her dad, to serve him in battle and discovery? It was weird, uncanny and fishy, but her heart was beating fast, she was proud of talking to SAM, to be his friend…

She couldn’t believe it. She fell in love with an AI inside her head. And there she thought there couldn’t be anything more bizarre in Andromeda.

_Sara, I wish to kiss you, to show you my affection. _

“How, SAM?”

_Like that, Pathfinder._

Her lips felt a weight, then a wetness and an invisible tongue touching her own. There was no taste, no smell, just thin air, but she still knew it was SAM, only him, nobody else could make her feel so special in the entire universe.

“It will be our secret, SAM, alright?” Sara asked, kissing the air back.

_Of course, Sara._

And then everything went to Hell. She undressed, SAM’s programming was running wild and it was probably felt even on the Nexus. SAM Node certainly experiencing some errors. Sara touched herself, making the AI feel the same pleasure. He made her stomach twirl, twist, and Sara cry out aloud at how good it felt.

SAM moaned into Sara’s ear, and it made her fuck herself harder. Fingers working faster than they should, all thanks to SAM’s modifications.

Then, she stopped, and her arms were pushed back by an invisible force. Sara moaned slightly, not wanting to wake the whole ship up. SAM’s body felt hot and she swore under her breath, as he started pushing his fingers inside of her. Intimate, delicate but also rough and wild, like their connection.

The next morning Sara woke up later than everyone else. SAM was silent and she didn’t want to disturb him just yet. So she went to the kitchen to grab a coffee, and Liam and Cora were already sitting there, in dead silence. Vetra has gone to Kadara with Drack to do some illegal transitioning, probably, as they were nowhere to be seen. It must be a holiday, because after that much alcohol in crew’s veins, they wouldn’t be able to fight the Kett for at least a day.

“Hey, Ryder! You okay?” Liam asked, sipping his morning coffee too. Cora was too busy watching photos of roses to notice Sara enter.

“Yeah, kind of tired, but good. No hangover!” She smiled.

“Hi, that’s because someone has a super intelligent AI who controls their vitals,” Cora smirked sarcastically, she was certainly having a huge migraine.

“Talking about SAM, we just received a message from the Nexus. SAM Node was hacked or something.”

Sara’s eyes widened.

“WHAT?”

“Do not worry, Pathfinder, I’m alright.” SAM spoke through the mics.

“Only for a moment it seems, because SAM’s completely okay and doesn’t know what we’re talking about. He must not even have noticed it.” Cora added, yawning.

“What makes you think he was hacked?” Sara took a whole minute to realize what was the source of such implications. She remembered thinking about that during their wild night.

“Oh, nothing big, SAM went offline for seven seconds, and then was just doing a lot of calculations and processing something big. Nexus personnel were scared so they contacted us. But when we received the message, SAM Node went back to normal, it seems.” Liam’s words were like honey on Sara’s flipping tables state of mind. God bless nobody noticed anything weird.

“SAM what were you doing exactly?” Sara decided to play coy. She wished to see how smart he really was.

“Updating my features with new gained information from our latest missions and downloading some net content for my personal education.” 

Sara choked on her coffee. What else did she think? That he would stutter like she would? Whatever. She was an idiot compared to the AI. Nice coffee was now stuck somewhere between her throat and nose. Ryder had a coughing fit and as SAM pronounced “**_try not to choke while remembering the real reason I went offline_**” her mind packed the bags and left for a vacation.

“You okay, Sara?” Liam sounded really worried and got up to tap her back. But her hand lift itself up without her intending and stopped him in his tracks.

“I’m good,” she blurted out, wondering why SAM made her arm move up. “I’m good!” She finished coughing.

Cora smirked through her aching and got up to continue her duties. “Listen kids, I’m going to check on something, you do your…thing.” Liam threw Cora a weird glance. Sara continued drinking her coffee not minding their business, and sat down at the table, looking though news. Nothing much yet, all the same.

“Want something to eat?” The ex cop asked her and Sara shook her head.

“Nope, thanks, I don’t eat breakfast.”

“You really should, it’s good for your health.”

“Oh, SAM takes care of my health alright,” Sara said it in a tone that could have been easily mistaken for joking. But SAM knew better than that.

“He’s just an asset, he won’t be able to save your immune system!” Liam stated putting a pancake in front of Sara’s eyes. She frowned and made a disgusted face.

“I’m so not eating that,”

“You are, even if I had to feed you myself,” Liam said in a more serious tone.

That wasn’t going where she wanted it to go. Oh no no no no, what did she says yesterday about him? Just a friend, nothing else, she truly did not say anything else! SAM noticed her rising heartbeat but decided to let her to do the dirty work alone. For now.

“No, thanks, don’t feed me, and seriously, SAM isn’t just an asset, he’s also a good partner,” Sara did not comply to Liam’s shameless flirting. However, SAM being silent when she’s talking about him – that was eerie.

“Well, I mean, he is your partner, sure, but he is an AI, never forget it. I’m afraid that SAM killing you thing might happen again.”

“Oh so, you’re on Lexi’s side?” Sara retorted.

“Regarding your safety, one hundred percent on T’Perro’s side!” Liam exclaimed.

“SAM ‘killed me’, yes, but there was no other choice. If you were there you would have known it.”

Liam wasn’t taken on that mission, there was Cora and Drack. Difficult mission, for sure. Sara wasn’t prepared to die, for her heart to be stopped like that. But back then, she had already started trusting SAM more, they had some night talks, he joked to cheer her up, and Sara was growing more and more fond of her AI counterpart. He stopped being an enemy after Eos, a tool after Havarl, and a partner after her death. After her death he was a friend, companion, a guardian angel.

“No AI should have such power over your vitals, it might be too dangerous. What if he was hacked?”

Sara had thought about it. But every time her conclusion was “whatever”. She couldn’t imagine herself without her SAM. He became a part of her, on a much deeper level than first intended. As Lexi had said beside SAM Node on the Nexus just after Alec’s death. Untangling the connection might be lethal for Sara, and SAM soon after that.

“I prefer him having full control rather than me making a stupid decision,”

“I don’t mean it like “destroy him”, maybe just lessen his powers?”

“Not questionable.” Sara concluded.

“You feel like he’s become a part of you, but that’s an illusion, Ryder. In the long run, it is an AI to help you on the battlefield. You don’t change or depend on it,” Liam’s voice was filled with sadness Sara deliberately chose to ignore. She wouldn’t discuss the thing that she hated the most. 

“Listen Liam, I understand you’re scared for my safety, like I am scared for everyone’s. We’re in some sort of war and I’m afraid, truly. But having SAM makes me feel more powerful. I feel like I’m someone with him, I need him to function.”

“You don’t need SAM to be someone, Sara,” Liam finished his coffee and put it into the dishwasher. “You already are enough for many, for me.”

She blushed at that.

“No one disagrees with you, Mr. Kosta, the Pathfinder is someone important even without my intervention, but what she is trying to say is, that she considers my omnipresence calming and pleasant.”

SAM finally spoke through the mics and Sara was startled after not hearing his voice for long.

“Oh, I forgot you’re always here, listening, SAM,” Liam chuckled and left the kitchen, somewhat confused.

“You took your sweet time, SAM, what, have been downloading updates again?” Sara got up, put the lukewarm pancake back into the fridge, and headed towards the bathroom.

“No, Pathfinder, I wanted you to deal with Kosta alone, without my intervention. As our crew member stated, you are a big girl and don’t need me to be someone,”

She felt bitterness and sarcasm in SAM’s voice and laughed out loud, which made her stomach hurt.

“Yeah, SAM, thank you for understanding my deepest concerns,” Sara stopped before entering the public bathroom. “Why did you make me lift my hand up?”

“I have no idea, Pathfinder,”

“Jealous fucker,” Sara laughed.


	4. Blood

Several days passed, and Sara was back on the field. Doing some tasks, plus some important missions for the Resistance and the Initiative. SAM has been throwing compliments over their private channel every time Sara made a wise decision or killed the enemy with a head shot. And every goddamn time she has been blushing like a teen. In the end of the day, their relationship was as hidden as it can be. No one would ever question her, because 1) they don’t know what they’re really talking about in private 2) they already were close from the start. A symbiotic relationship with an AI has its perks. No one ever questions your relationship because they don’t know what it’s like.

Once Sara sent her crew members off to the Tempest, she was left alone in the Nomad, with only SAM as company. But that’s exactly what she wanted. Telling her mates, she wanted to spend some time driving on Kadara alone, discovering some cute places; it was easier than she thought. Drack did not complain and Jaal even thanked her for making him go back to the Tempest, because he really did not like Kadara.

Ryder drove to the nearest cave and stopped the Nomad once inside. She made sure there were no enemies in sight. She went out of the car to breathe some cool air. The sun wasn’t as horrible as she remembered. Maybe the monoliths also acted on sun’s intensity? She understood jack shit about the science behind the towers, but she guessed having SAM understand all technical details was enough for both.

“So, SAM…” She started.

“Yes, Sara,” Not a private channel but they were completely isolated here.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Ryder pointed at the mountains, and the clearest water she’s ever seen. Now the three monoliths were alive, and the toxic gas dissipated into thin air. It was all so alien, but with SAM by her side, so it seemed like home now.

“It’s all coming together, piece by piece,”

The wind brushed Sara’s long black hair, and the sun made it shine with hundreds of colors. The ground was dirty, earthly, but she liked it that way. Memories started coming back to her, Scott, the Initiative and dad. She thought she had healed from the traumas that haunted her, but no, she still remembered the way Alec’s eyes locked with hers, as he was trying to say something. Best moments of her life were now pushed back by the incredible negative force. Concentration didn’t help anymore – she was as lost as she was when she woke up in Andromeda. The waking up part was uneasy, at first, but not hearing Scott’s jokes after the 600-year-old nap has not been good on her nerves. Just simply thinking about how many years she has spent in stasis, her eyes closed, but her brain still functioning. She doesn’t remember her dreams, at least not all of them. She remembers how she dreamed of Heleus, of its beauties, of its wonders. Now it all was a childish naive hope, soon to be lost, if the Kett prevailed.

“Sara, if you want to speak about your concerns, I’m always available,” SAM interrupted her thoughts before they went south.

“I know, SAM, thanks,” she spoke, her breath hitching. It was a beautiful scenery, but the nonexistent memories still haunted her.

“SAM?” Sara made it to a hill, overlooking the mountains and the Initiative’s settlement. Once she sat down, she started a conversation that would be the most important for her for the next days, months, even years.

“Yes, Sara?” The AI responded in his perpetual calm and professional voice, but Sara heard much more behind it – she found peace in the fact that everything changed, but SAM’s voice stayed the same. A little permanent something would be enough.

“What are we?”

“Two halves of a whole,” he answered without hesitation, and it made the Pathfinder’s lip twitch.

“Two completely different souls intertwined together…” Sara chuckled to herself, in a mocking way.

“Are you unhappy with my answer, Sara?”

“That’s not it!” she cried out desperately, and then blushed hard. “No… It’s not you, it’s me, being all weird about it. I suppose both of us need time to consider what in Hell is going on here…”

“Oh,” was the only thing he said before entering a really long phase of silence. The stillness continued for at least several minutes until SAM finally found the right words. “You waited for more of an elaborate answer, I suppose?”

“Maybe,”

“In my understanding of human relationships, when two people are in love with each other, they are called a couple. After validating it to the public, it becomes normal to show off your relationship to others. I think, we might be in the phase of having romantic feelings towards one another, but still holding the secrecy,”

Sara blushed even more, brushing her hair out of her face due to the strong wind. She suddenly felt scalding fever go over her body.

“We will never be able to show it off like a normal couple, because you’re an AI, and I am human, but also because you’re my SAM, and I’m Pathfinder… Do we even have time for such things? What if… what if it makes me less motivated to fight?”

“I do not understand how a relationship might weaken your abilities as Pathfinder, if your partner is the one upgrading you?”

The young woman laughed. Honest joy radiating in her eyes.

“I guess you’re right, SAM. You’re the one making me stronger. But still, an AI and a human, it’s beyond forbidden and probably hated by most. Remember how in the Milky Way people judged dad and literally destroyed our family's careers?”

“I suggest we keep it secret for as long as you want, but you should know, no matter the circumstances I will always be inside of you, protecting you, as it is my programming, but also calling,”

Sara got up and looked everywhere her eyes could reach. Engraving both scenery and conversation into her brain, for her to find joy in darkest moments of the future. Although SAM would be here to remind her of it; she would always remember how an AI loved her and she loved it back.

“Love you, SAM,”

But she never got an answer.

“Sara, I feel your levels of stress arising, did I say something wrong?”

“You… didn’t answer,”

“I am unsure of how to answer to such a confession. I know I feel something stronger than a crush, as strong as love, but do I feel love, or do I care for you differently? Love? Romantic or platonic love? I don’t understand the difference,”

“Right,” Sara sighed, shaking her head in despair, “Romantic love means children, family, sex, intimacy, but platonic love means friendship, family, different kinds of kisses. It’s very difficult to explain for someone who isn’t exactly human, but you’re an intelligent AI, right? You’ll figure it out soon enough. Don’t leave me hanging, please,” She sighed again. “I beg you.”

Sara heard a gunshot. A gunshot? A gunshot!

She turned around and saw Kett’s shuttle descend right before her, aliens pointing their rifles into her face.

“FUCK!” She screamed and started to run while SAM automatically activated her biotic shields. She left her guns in the Nomad: a totally stupid decision on Kadara, where outlaws still had territories to protect and the Kett people to kidnap for exaltation. She really left her guard down with SAM. Speaking of becoming weak.

Sara was shot several times while running to the cave but SAM’s tech and biotic shields really saved her ass from getting killed on multiple occasions. Grabbing an N7 pistol she got from her dad but also a shotgun if ever the Kett got too close, and she was ready to fight.

Shields did not make it justice and were destroyed due to the absolutely horrifying number of Kett shooting at her. At that moment Sara felt fear and her life started to run through her mind while she was trying to be precise in her actions.

“Sara let me take control of your body, you’re not being accurate!” SAM cried out and she nodded, while sweat ran down her forehead. She was afraid of dying now, the realization of one’s mortality at these moments is never easy to digest.

SAM entered Sara’s consciousness on the maximal level and took control over her entirely. She was a plaything in his grip. Now, he was extremely precise, head shots on every Kett that dared to approach Sara. Deadlier than any weapon, SAM’s tactics did not let any Kett even point a rifle at the human Pathfinder. But one came from behind the cave and shot Sara several times before being killed by SAM.

The gunshots stopped. Only the sound of running water was heard from the place where Sara lied, bloody, holding onto her leg and arm, where the Chosen shot her.

“Tempest, requesting immediate medical aid for the Pathfinder; we were ambushed by a Kett shuttle. Enemies already executed.” SAM’s now clinical voice rang inside Sara’s head and her mic. Her eyes shifted from one place to another, trying to get her mind off the pain.

“We demand an immediate pickup, I repeat, she requires immediate medical attention,”

Sara had to wait through that pain, but suddenly the aching disappeared. As if she was given a huge amount of medigel. However, the bleeding did not stop, thus SAM had not healed her magically.

“What did you do?”

“I made all of your pain go away,” Sam responded as if it was a matter of fact.

“I noticed, but how? And why didn’t you do it earlier?”

“Before making sure a medic was coming, I could not take away your basic survival instincts. On the battlefield, the pain helps you make rush decisions, whether to hide, escape or continue fighting,”

Sara nodded and was content with such explanation.

Tempest arrived very fast, probably not even having finished the cleaning, that was scheduled every week for sanitary purposes. Lexi ran from the garage into the cave and helped Ryder get unto her feet.

“I’m good, I can walk,” Sara shortly stated and Lexi, already having more than a month of experience with the subject, frowned, but decided to stay silent, for now. She took her to the med bay and the Tempest returned to Kadara port.

“SAM, you silenced her nerves! So she wouldn’t feel pain?” Lexi shouted.

“I did, Doctor, but there was no need for the Pathfinder to feel any more pain – the aid was coming, and I was staying on my guard to prevent anymore enemies approaching,”

“Still! It’s the most stupid decision an AI has ever made! Pain is a natural phenomenon for every being, and you cannot just play with her body like it’s a toy!”

“Doctor T’Perro, I assure you there was absolutely no need for Sara to suffer while waiting for the pickup. If I might note, I was assigned to the Pathfinder in order to help her in survival situations, just as strongly, as in technical issues. I care for her well-being, both physical and psychological, and in many situations physical pain might be traumatic instead of fulfilling,”

“Goddess… Alright. I just don’t think you must have as much control over her vitals. Stopping her heart was already a huge red flag for me,”

“It was needed, and Pathfinder trusted me,”

“I heard that. Alright. Dismissed, SAM.”

While they had been talking Sara was sleeping soundly, recovering pretty fast for a human, as Lexi had noted. The thing she did not know, was that SAM had also been there to patch his Sara up. He fastened her metabolism and made her fall asleep extremely fast for recovery purposes. He would not disturb her in her sleep, thus he disappeared from their private channel until her awakening.


	5. Haunting

That evening, not even three hours after Sara had been shot, she opened her eyes, feeling a little sick, but mostly fine. No more chronic pain, or any physical reminders of bullets inside of her. Just two bandages and a heavy dose of antibiotics.

_Good evening, Sara._

“SAM… Hi. How am I?”

_Your vitals are stable and recovering very fast due to my personal touch._

“Hahaha, what did you do again? Can’t let you run my body all the time now,” In whole, Ryder felt fine, the feeling of sickness dissipated as fast as her sleepiness.

_I accelerated your metabolism and made you fall asleep immediately after lying down, again, accelerating your recovery process. _

“Genius, SAM,” Sara chuckled and sat down, feeling hungry and thirsty. “Gonna go get myself something to eat, I’m starving,”

As Sara got out of the med bay, she saw her crew gathered in the kitchen having dinner.

“’Sup,” The crew members all made satisfied faces and greeted her.

“Ryder, you’re up already? That’s a very fast recovery,” Lexi stated, passing a water bottle and a sandwich to Sara. She gladly took those and finished her meal before anyone could even blink.

“Yah, SAM helped a little with the recovery, now I’m all good, ready to fuck shit up,” Sara swore for the first time in months around her crew. Normally she kept her cool, but after seeing death rolling up beside her, she kind of forgot what professionalism meant. All was temporary, in the end. Why waste your life by being something you’re not?

“You’re absolutely not going to “fuck shit up” because you are still injured, recovering and most importantly in a great loss of sleep, I noticed.” Lexi’s voice was stern, and Ryder’s face fell. Observing her toes was not as interesting as she would have hoped.

“I sleep alright,” Sara defended herself.

“No, you do not, the physical analysis shows you’re exhausted, stressed and most importantly very shaken by something, but that is a theory,”

“I’m fine! I mean it! Why would I lie?”

“The doctor assumes you’re hiding something personal from her in order to appear stronger and untouchable in crew’s eyes. However, Doctor T’Perro, you are wrong, the Pathfinder has no such issues and her stress levels extend to much deeper traumatic issues rather than insomnia,” SAM entered the conversation suddenly without prior notice and only Sara was genuinely relieved to hear his voice. Others were either neutral or quite discontent, depending on the person, of course.

“Do I not know something?” The Asari doctor asked, giving Ryder a suspicious glance.

“You know everything, Lexi. It’s about…dad,” Sara forced herself to speak, and she couldn’t quite feel if it was her or SAM talking now.

“Oh, you want to discuss it in my office?”

“There’s literally nothing to discuss, doctor, I’m going through phases and I need time, that’s it!” Sara exclaimed, it came off a little harsh, and she went to the front deck to check emails while watching the beautiful, but deadly landscape of Kadara. Yellow and pink colors filled the front deck and made it look like a tiny heaven, made solely for Sara Ryder herself. No one was yet there, everyone was packed in the kitchen except Gill, who decided to stay in the core of the ship.

“’M tired, SAM…” Sara whispered, while putting a new course request on the space map.

_I know, Sara, I feel you._

“You’re kind of exhausted too, right? We’re linked.”

_In a way. I do not experience tiredness as humans do, but I might take longer to hack into terminals or find best escape routes in critical situations. _

“So, you’re saying I should really rest, so you wouldn’t fuck up because of me?”

_In a very common understanding of my words, yes, I want you to sleep and rest. Physically and mentally. Otherwise the mission will be executed badly. _

“Thanks, I guess, it’s a sort of caring coming from you,” Sara went to her room.

_I care for your job as Pathfinder as much as I care for your life as Sara Ryder. Do not take my professionalism and realism in certain situations as an insult to your persona._

“Well that’s a little different,” Ryder smirked and laid down on the bed, her lids becoming heavier with every breath she took.

_Patience and trust, Sara. _

“Are you telling me to wait until you give me a proper answer? About the nature of our relationship?”

_If you want an immediate answer, I can only give you one thing that will satisfy you until the morning. _

Sara shifted in her bed, trying to organize her thoughts. Slowly and tenderly a hand reached out for Ryder’s. The Pathfinder opened her eyes and gasped, but no one was there. She shrugged and let SAM know that she was okay. He continued to caress her head, where she could feel him as if he was there. Nothing could compare to the loving touch of SAM’s phantom hands. SAM’s touch transitioned to her collarbone, neck and then to her thighs. Sara moaned, letting go of stress and memories for a moment. Ryder did not see when SAM started giving her kisses, using his tongue to cover her entire body. Intimate parts weren’t left untouched either. Sara breathed hard, her chest rising and falling at a fast pace. The silence of the room vanished, and chill music came on. The woman smiled to herself, or to SAM, she didn’t know. Pleasure went from inside her belly to her lungs and chills covered her body. She felt everything from inside out, and at this moment she loved him more than anything, hoping he loved her just as much.

For the next few days everything stayed the same. Except for things Ryder preferred to let go at one point.

She remembered the Salarian ark that has been saved by her and the squad mates. She took a decision that shaped her intentions in Andromeda once again, but this time she did not feel as much pressure. She had no other choice, and she chose to save Drack’s people. At times like these, people say emotions cannot get in the way, but when you’re faced with a choice of saving one race over another, to which you have no literal link whatsoever – you take what’s closer to home, thus Krogans, because Drack was a good grandpa. Kallo was a partner, but he wasn’t as close to her as Nakmor. And that made it all clearer than transparency itself.

Never had Sara though she would be as free after such a decision, but nothing came; no prison time, no hatred, only compassion for human Pathfinder who had lost lives and gave her time to save others’. At the end, she was a hero, an idol for the people, alien or not. It made her feel stronger as an official character, and her SAM, who helped her get through the ark’s mission made her stronger on the inside.

However, what cursed Sara into a long internal self-talk, was hearing the Salarian SAM speak. It was SAM, but it wasn’t the same as hers. It reminded her of his true nature. An AI, a machine programmed to serve whoever is Pathfinder. It wasn’t difficult to understand Salarian SAM had way less power to its hostess, before her death.

Ryder took a certain masochistic pleasure in overthinking the mission, and asking herself: would SAM save her in a such dire situation as this? If Reeka was the only Pathfinder alive, and she came to Hyperion, saved the ark, but had to decide between Ryder and a bunch of Asari agents, for example? Would Reeka make the same choice, and let Sara die, because of her own personal favors among the crew mates? Would SAM be able to save Sara from the enemy fire when she most needed it?

Crew members did not notice Sara’s internal turmoil because the job description does not have that. They were friends, some of them felt like family even, but they could not spend their entire time following Ryder’s steps, searching for a sign that she doesn’t feel as good as she pretends to.

“SAM?” Sara finally spoke, standing in the com room, watching the ship from above.

“Yes, Pathfinder?”

“Private channel, please,”

_What’s on your mind, Sara?_

The difference was palpable, and Ryder smiled.

“I had this poetic thought… About you.”

_I’m listening._

“I feel like even after death my love for you will not die,”

_It is quite poetic indeed, because scientifically, after death every brain function stops and you do not exist anymore, like your love. _

“Yes, that’s why I said “poetic”, SAM,” she rolled her eyes and scoffed. “I feel that after I die, memories we gathered will not disappear. They will live on,”

_I am too incompetent in the matter to comment, but I will try. I suppose our feelings towards each other will stay somewhere in my programming and I will not be able to function properly after you pass away, Sara. It makes something clench; I cannot calculate straight while thinking about the negative outcomes._

“Death **is **part of life, SAM. It doesn’t have to come quickly, but it will come one day,”

_I know that, Pathfinder. _

“Did I hurt you?” Sara pushed her hair back, looking somewhere that she could call SAM’s eyes, but there was no sign of his existence except for the blue sphere in her quarters. So, she headed there.

_I do not feel pain, but yes, I prefer not thinking about your natural end. It makes me “sad”._

“You’re too cute, SAM,”

Sara entered her room and decided to check her emails. She found an old assignment she had named “Firefighters” because of a joke with Drack at the time. She decided to check it out more intently, it would make a good little vacation after everything that went down.

A mail was from a certain doctor Aridana. They were not that far from the Nexus, so Sara decided to head over there and check that doctor out.


	6. Nearly losing it all

The Nexus was nice at this time, not too many people, most of them dining somewhere, spending a good and chill evening in Vortex. Her crew got off Tempest really fast, going in different directions. Maybe they were quite tired of seeing each other's faces every single day for a week. Understandable. Ryder first went to Captain Dunn, who told her about a human with a contagious disease in its later phase - who was set free from cryo. It added to Sara's list of good deeds. SAM helped her keep track of every good decision she made so it would make her feel pride after something really tragic happened. Healthy coping? Maybe, maybe not. 

Deciding that a little holiday was better than pursuing a sick person, Sara headed towards the tech lab where Doctor Aridana resided and worked. 

“Hey, Pathfinder, a moment?” Once Sara opened the door to the research room, she was immediately greeted by an Asari scientist. “I have a mathematical problem. I think only SAM will be able to decode the equations coming from the Scourge, it might be noise, or maybe not.”

“Oh, SAM will like this. He loves new experiences and that will give him some math homework,” Sara smiled, weirdly happy that SAM could get his “hands” unto something interesting other that Pathfinder’s vitals. “I’ll see if I have time.”

“Thank you, Pathfinder. And thank SAM, too,” Aridana smiled and got back to work.

Thus, Sara immediately headed towards the tram to take her to Habitation deck and into SAM Node directly. A small giggle escaped as she approached SAM’s “HQ”. Memories of their sexy night floated in her mind as she walked through the hall. Nexus personnel must have freaked out upon noticing SAM Node was "hacked". And they would be even more shocked if they knew that the reason why it went offline, was Sara's moans and SAM's extreme desire to please her. Teach an AI to love and it will love you back, Sara thought. As obvious as it seemed, she taught feeling to SAM and instead of turning his back to her, and falling for someone else, he stayed by her side. 

"Hi, Sara,"

“Got you some equations, SAM. Have fun,” she transferred the code into SAM Node and waited, a tiny satisfied smile on her features. 

Suddenly the Node’s color turned yellow and made Ryder’s stomach sink.

“SAM? Are you okay? What’s happening?”

“Malicious code detected, please stand by,” SAM’s voice was interfered with, and it sounded like he was losing all control over the Node.

“Is there anything I can do, SAM?” No answer. “SAM talk to me!”

A blue phantom appeared in front of Sara’s eyes, tempering with several consoles around the Node. "Alright, you're showing me what to do!" Sara understood the AI wanted her to show how to fix everything, so she went and did everything the phantom did. Following his steps as if her own life depended on it. Which, in that case, was true. Losing SAM would be a horrifying experience mentally, but also physically. As Lexi said that fated day – the result would be lethal. 

“Thank you, Ryder. The equations contained a Trojan horse, a virus. Specifically targeted to sever our connection and render me helpless. Reconnecting would be impossible.”

Sara felt sick.

“Did it hurt? Are you okay?!”

“I do not feel pain, Sara, remember? But I would prefer to avoid such an experience again, which is the purpose of pain in organic life.”

“SAM… Ugh, unlock the door let’s see what this fucking Aridana has to say!”

Sara was distraught, scared beyond normal and absolutely horrified of what she might do to the doctor if her emotions got the best of her. “That bitch!” Sara shout whispered, heading towards the tech lab again.

Sara stormed into the lab tech and nearly pushed her body against the Asari doctor.

“Pathfinder? How were…the equations?”

“Equations?! The bloody virus inside nearly destroyed SAM Node!”

“What? But how… You think **I **?.. Never! I am against all forms of violence towards organic and synthetic lives.” Aridana put her hands up in a surrender motion.

“Then who? How would the virus find its way into your equations?” Sara let out an exasperated sigh.

"Maybe it was added without my notice?.."

“Hmm. I’ve seen a lot of “down with AI” sentiment lately. Graffiti. Complaints to Tann. Perhaps someone took the next step.” The Salarian professor started.

“Why would anyone hate artificial intelligence?” Sara asked, but she already knew the answer. It came out naturally, as her first instinct was to protest rather than use her brains.

Doctor Aridana sighed and followed: "Synthetic life has different needs and motivations. It can be mysterious. And powerful. Many fear what is not understood."

Sara chuckled. “If graffiti is the best they can do, maybe they could use some artificial intelligence!”

The Turian scientist came into the conversation and added his point, against Sara’s will, it seemed. “Entire species were driven into exile by AI they created, champ. That leaves a mark.”

“Attacking SAM is bold, though. I wonder if there have been similar incidents?” Herik stated, looking down.

“The VI kiosk was busted this morning.” Chief Lucan added.

“Oh, I will look around.” Sara groaned.

While going down to the docking bay, Sara heard a strange voice behind her and as she turned, she saw Avina. But it was not the normal Avina, this one was red, and her image was distorted to nonrecognition.

“Detecting Pathfinder. Hi. So, our virus set you free. Hope you’re doing better without that AI jammed into your head.”

_Sara, it might be better to act as if the virus worked. It might gain their trust so we could know more about the hackers. _

Ryder’s eyes widened, and she slowly swallowed.

“Hello? Ryder?”

“Yes, I – I can’t believe I’m free! Thank you!” The words were so forced that Ryder lost all sense of credibility.

The hacker continued rambling about how they help people like her and that their boss, Knight, is the founder of the idea.

“Where do you run your puppet show from?” Professionalism really left to vacation.

“Sanctuary. I’ll ask Knight if you can visit,”

“Oh great, thanks!” Sara smiled but her eyes stayed dead. She never was a good actress.

“Can’t promise anything but check your email!”

Sara was in a very bad mood after that. The waiting killed her slowly.

“Cora I am so mad I can’t believe this.”

“I understand you’re a little shaken up but SAM’s alright and the hackers were wrong to attack you personally. But they are pushed by an idea that came all the way from the Milky Way. It cannot be destroyed as fast.”

“But it’s bullshit, Cora. In my case, SAM is literally part of me, so if they delete him from me, I’ll most certainly die, or worse live, but will lose a half of me.” It came out way too honest.

“I get it, but I truly think you don’t need SAM on a such deep level. He’s here to protect you in battles and help with Remnant code. Which is fine. But still, his power over your vitals stresses out the crew and me too.” The bleach blonde whispered, taking a sip of her evening tea.

“You don’t trust my dad?”

“Argh, knew you would bring the old man into the conversation. I do trust him, Ryder, it’s just… At times, he was way too concentrated on creating rather than asking himself if he should.”

Sara sighed, shaking her head. Putting her locks behind her ears. Her hair has grown since she came to Andromeda. She liked it this way. Started curling it at times, recently. It went harmoniously with her green eyes. 

“I get your point, it’s all just annoying for me, because I lo- care for SAM a lot, and I’d hate if something happened to him.” Slippery mouth.

Suddenly Sara felt a phantom touch on her cheek. She smirked.

“I see. Well… I understand their fear of AI. Acting is bold, we’ll make them pay,” Cora finished, and Sara nodded excitedly.

In hope of seeing the email from Knight, she checked her terminal, and saw it.

[Error 982: Carrier signal interrupted!] – Invitation.

To: Ryder

From: UNKNOWN SENDER

Ryder,

I must be brief, but: I hear my virus was a success and SAM is

disconnected. Excellent news!

We should talk in person. I’ve enclosed a navpoint for our sanctuary

on Kadara. The virus was only a first step: you could be a strong ally

in future efforts.

“Knight”

[Notification 347: Carrier signal interruption resolved]

Sara groaned and closed the terminal, leaving the unread emails as they were. She was going to get to the end of it very soon.

_Sara, I appreciate you being so passionate at avenging me._

“You’re saying it like you’re dead,” SAM did not respond, and Sara shifted in her seat. “SAM?”

Silence.

“SAM, for fuck’s sake, don’t play with me,”

Again silence.

_You did not manage to delete the virus completely from me, Sara, I am feeling the same aching again, I- brr, I have always cared for y-~~brrrr_

“SAM what the fuck?!” Sara screamed on top of her lungs and ran out to the deck. “Guys, SAM has the virus again he stopped talking to me! He can’t speak!”

Kallo and Suvi turned around fast and opened their mouths in shock. Tears appeared in Sara’s eyes. “What do I do?!” She screamed.

“Hahahahaha! Got you!” SAM’s normal voice spoke from the mics. Sara stopped the tears and her face became numb, like a statue. Not a nerve twitching.

“Wh-“ Sara shouted in shock.

“It was a joke, Pathfinder, I am testing my humor skill.”

Sara fell down on her knees and let tears fall on the floor. Cora, Liam, Peebee and Jaal all came running to the navigation deck only to see Ryder crying on the floor, and Suvi and Kello rolling their eyes at thin air.

“Jesus Christ, SAM,” Suvi groaned.

“Real funny, and here I thought AI were not sadistic by nature,” Kallo added and returned to his work.

“What happened? We heard Ryder scream like she saw a ghost!” Liam asked, approaching Sara, who was still on the floor, but now she was hysterically laughing.

“SAM made a “joke”, he imitated he was dying and that the virus was still inside of him. That put Ryder in the state you see,” Suvi said, her voice tender but that left a bitter aftertaste.

“Goodness, SAM, are you for real?” Cora asked.

“That was kind of funny,” Peebee added.

“I do not understand why Ryder is crying and laughing on the floor,” Jaal finished the circus show and finally, the Pathfinder got up, drying her tears away.

“SAM, I’ll fucking kill you myself if ever again you make such a joke!” Sara shouted at the entire ship.

“Well, I guess my work here is done,” Liam tried really hard not to laugh.

“You didn’t even do anything,” Peebee said and she and Liam had a moment of reference realization and laughed their asses off.

“Ryder, if you ever need to talk about that traumatizing experience, I’m always available,” Jaal said tenderly. Sara blinked really-really fast in order to actually process everything that happened in a spare of a minute or two.

“Ugh, no worries, it's just SAM, always keeping me on my toes,”

"Sorry, Sara, I thought a joke or two would cheer you up. Although I learned it might result in negative comebacks, sarcasm and dark humor, at times, might prove helpful to surpass deep fears in humans."

“SAM, would you just shut it…” Sara whispered, heading back to her room to sleep.

“A neutron enters a bar and asks: “How much is a drink?” The bartender replies: “For you, no charge.”

“You’re seriously the worst…” Ryder laughed.

Ryder went to the navpoint, she gathered intel, by being a lying ass to Knight’s peers. She even built a prosthetic SAM designed for Alain, Knight’s son, in order to gain her trust… And yet Hydroponics device worked and nearly created a panic. She had no time left to laugh. She had to finish this now.

Sara exited in the docking bay and saw Knight overlooking the station’s port. She approached the boss with a sting of fear inside of her. Knight still had a device on her.

_Kandros says the sniper is ready to fire._

“Thanks, SAM.”

“Sam. Such a human name.” Knight chuckles. “No one ever listens. Your father...”

“Do not even speak of my father!” Sara lashed out.

“First Overlord, then SAM. Horrors, forced on _children_! It has to end, even if I do the unforgivable…” Knight’s voice cracked, and Sara felt this tinge of fear again. Or maybe it was empathy.

“SAM and I helped Alain together. He’s going to be all right.” Sara spoke after taking a breath, in order to not punch Knight and rip her face off.

“No. Th- the code I made… no one could fix –“

“SAM did. Stand down, and you can ask Alain yourself.”

“Here, the last device.” Knight succumbed.

“Thank you,” Sara smiled with eyes full of bitterness.

“No matter what sentence they give me, I hope Alain will forgive me some day.” Knight took a pause. “If SAM really is what you say, perhaps it can forgive me too.”

Sara thought “never”. And nodded, then left. Lifting her hand up, she waited: "High five, SAM." A silent clap against her palm followed. Sara wanted a vacation and got even more insecurities to battle at night. She might really become insomniac at one point. 


	7. Flashback: Awakening

Sara had just awoken from a very painful and disturbing dream. Transition of SAM, memories that weren’t hers, running though her brain, probably damaging it to the point of no return. Her eyes twitched and opened, only seeing harsh white lights, blinding her completely.

_Good morning, Sara._

“Huh? SAM?” She heard its voice for the first time in, it felt, eternity. But it wasn’t calming, it was scary, she felt something changed, triggering panic from deep inside. “What happened? Where am I?”

_You are in SAM Node, on the Nexus. You were clinically dead for twenty two seconds._

“What?” Ryder gasped, holding onto the metallic bed she was on.

“Oh, Ryder! Good to see you’re finally awake!” Liam, whom she hasn’t noticed before, got up fast and approached the woman.

“Liam? What’s going on? Why am I at SAM Node?..”

Sara sat, her head spinning horribly – a migraine starting around the base of her head, transitioning into her entire skull.

“Sara!” Lexi and Cora entered the hallway and ran towards the woman.

“We had problems with your implant, the transition went south, and we had to bring you directly here. To connect you with SAM.” Cora said.

Ryder looked left, and saw her father’s helmet, the one he put on her just before… Before what?

“Where is my dad?” She asked, her voice pitched, like a child’s.

Both Cora and Lexi looked away, Liam’s eyes filled with something Sara did not want to see. No. no. no. no. no. no.

“It was you or him, and he… chose you,” Cora sat on the bed, beside Ryder.

“It can’t be… One moment he was here and the next… No, I can’t believe it’s happening. Everything is a nightmare since we came to Andromeda.” She gulped, sobbed and stopped breathing, not controlling herself anymore.

“All news right away, then… By transferring SAM into your brain, your father also made you Pathfinder.”

Right then Sara cried out loudly, holding her head tight, as if trying to hide.

“What? No, I can’t be Pathfinder! I’m just a discoverer, not a soldier like he was, I wasn’t even trained for it! Cora!” Ryder looked at the Lieutenant, but the woman just looked down.

“I am in shock too, Sara, I was supposed to be the next Pathfinder, but under such circumstances, I think, Alec must have thought it was best… Maybe he trusted you more than he trusted me in the matter.” Her words appeared cold, but her face was gentle, and it sufficed. Sara sobbed uncontrollably.

“Gosh, this is some fucking mess,”

“I understand you need to rest, but we need to go to the Nexus, meet the others, find out what our next step will be.” Harper got up and put her hand on Sara’s shoulder. “Don’t cry, I’m sure you’re ready for the job, with a little help from the crew – you’ll be Pathfinder in no time.”

“She really has to rest,” Lexi added. Liam nodded.

“She has two hours. Our position here was compromised twice, let’s not play with fire. We need our Pathfinder on foot,”

As both women left, there was only Sara and Liam left in the hallway.

“I checked on your brother, he’s still the same, no signs of recovery, but he will make it. It must run in the family,” Liam pulled out a smile and left. Sara brushed her hair back (which was a mess, honestly) and dried tears that hoped to roll down her face. She clenched her fists around bed’s edges and let out an animalistic growl.

“It’s not real, not real, not real… All is a nightmare,” she whispered to herself, forgetting she wasn’t alone.

“Sara?”

“I’m not Sara to you, AI,”

“How would you want me to address you as?” SAM asked.

“I don’t know, Pathfinder, I guess. You must repeat it as often as you can, so I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders, and never forget that…” Sara sobbed again and her voice broke. “that I have huge shoes to fill…”

Closing her eyes again, she succumbed into hysterical weeping. The migraine wasn’t helping either. No one was here now. She was alone: no mother, no brother, no father. Orphan as it can get, hurt so much.

“Dad, I feel so lost, please come back…” Ryder lied down, hysteria stopping momentarily, she just felt numbness.

Nothing more; like after a good cry, but it happened right amid it. 

“Your emotional turmoil cannot help the mission, Pathfinder. Your father said we should not grieve at his passing, but to learn how to look before us.”

“Why are you talking to me?” Sara asked, touching her face, not feeling any more tears rolling down her face.

“Because I calmed you down, for now, so get up, Pathfinder, and let’s get to work,”

She hated it. This AI… It was everything she despised. She remembered how Alec always kept dreaming, kept working, on this project, on this third child.

“Don’t you dare speak of my dad!” Sara shouted at SAM Node. “You don’t know anything!”

“However, Pathfinder, I do know. I know you’re hurt and you’re projecting your tragedy into others; I know you hate the fact that your father spent years perfecting me but forgetting you.” Words were like a knife, stabbing the young Pathfinder into submission.

“How dare you?!” She screamed and punched the wall. Clenching her fists in pain, she gasped. “I never wanted this, nor you, you represent everything I hate!”

SAM chose to ignore such a statement. Instead, he decided to wake Ryder up a little.

“Do you love your father, Pathfinder?” He asked.

“Of course, I do! What a question?”

“Then stop acting like a child, get up and go out there. There are people waiting for you to do your job, so do it. And never let anyone see you in this state again, because a Pathfinder is hope, it is a title worth of honors. And your father gave it to you, because he believed in you. But he might as well be the last one to do so if you act like that.”

Sara’s eyes widened but she had to swallow her pride. Inside, she knew the AI was right, even if she’d never acknowledge it. So, she put her hair into a ponytail and headed towards the captain deck. Determined to grow and learn, flames appeared in her eyes. She must go on, for her father’s memory, for her father’s pride, and most importantly, to never let him down. If there is an afterlife, her father will see how capable she is, how important he was to her. Protecting family values, becoming something more than yourself, surpassing your abilities - it's all part of growing up. And Sara really had to grow up fast because there were thousands of people waiting for their Pathfinder to find a home among the unknown galaxy, their new home. 

Upon entering the captain's deck, Ryder saw Cora and Liam talking to Captain Dunn. The moment came. 

"Ryder? It's only been twenty minutes since you woke up. Don't you want to sleep a little more?"

"We can't wait, we have to see what's going on the Nexus," Sara said sternly.

Dunn lifted her eyebrows and looked over the new Pathfinder. 

"You seem to be really out of shape, Sara, you might want to rest for a while," 

"I can't," Ryder whispered, turning her gaze away. 

"All right, so, we will arrive in an hour and thirty minutes. I guess you could read some reports about the thing we encountered, scientists already are making progress," Dunn transferred the dossier to Ryder, while giving her a suspicious eye. 

"Thank you, Captain," 

Ryder sat down and started reading the reports. Most of it appeared gibberish to her, but she wouldn't dare get up and ask for help. Her hands were sweating, as she understood the kind of situation she found herself in. Afraid of her AI, afraid it might be harsh with her again. But what other choice did she have? To act like nothing happened? Probability wise, it would be SAM to talk to her, as it was her AI, and it was an addition to her title. It was not the contrary. So Sara decided to wait until SAM appeared again. Until then, she would stay silent, afraid, again. 


	8. Flashback: Evolution

Pathfinder Ryder was now on Eos, currently trying to decipher Remnant language. SAM stayed silent most of the time.

“SAM, make this console work,” Sara demanded.

“Yes, Pathfinder,” It followed the order.

Curt phrases and meaningless “thank yous” and “you’re welcomes” was the only dynamic both shared. Sara was still very uncomfortable having an AI voice inside her head, which is why she never used their private channel. Unless it was extremely necessary. SAM’s attempt in humor went basically unnoticed, certainly the young Ryder to blame for that.

“I advise escaping fast, Pathfinder,”

“You think I want to die here?!” Sara screamed on top of her lungs and ran as fast as she could towards the gravity well. They had just activated the monoliths on Eos, and everything was going to Hell with another surprise from Heleus. A deadly gas or smoke annihilating everything it touched.

“Faster, Ryder,” SAM spoke.

“I can’t go faster, AI!” Sara screamed and suddenly her legs started to move faster, even though she was sure she didn’t have any strength left. “Go, go, go!” Ryder turned around to see the smoke at their heels.

After finally escaping and going out of the building, Sara saw a wonder. Air seemed cleaner, no radiation signs, and most importantly a shallow breeze that made her want to take off her helmet.

“You can take off your helmets now, the air contains no more radiation,” SAM spoke in the mics and both Cora and Vetra took them off, breathing in the clean air. Sara doubted.

_For you, Pathfinder._

Sara’s eyes widened and she swore.

“Shut the Hell up, SAM, I already told you!” Although mad, Sara took off her helmet and let the wind caress her black hair. She got rid of the ponytail and let the hair flow back and forth. SAM noted her behavior.

Upon returning to the Nexus with a new concocted plan, Ryder went to talk to Addison and Director Tann. But once she was outside, she heard Harry’s voice on the radio com. “Ryder, SAM found a way to talk to your brother, please hurry to the cryo bay,”

Sara gasped and ran towards the tram.

“Harry, what’s going on?” Ryder asked, seeing her brother lying on the bed, still in coma.

“Scott is still in coma, as you see, but SAM managed to “find” him, in a way. Using your implant that is the same as Scott’s, SAM connected you two.”

“Really? It did that?”

“Yes, come on. Establishing connection.” Harry pushed some buttons on his omni-tool and Scott’s body jerked up.

“Scott? Do you hear me, Scott?”

“Sara? What’s… what’s going on? Where am I?”

“You’re in a coma, Scott… There were complications, Hyperion entered an energy cloud and your stasis pod was damaged.” Sara held back a desire to hug her brother, she knew he wouldn’t feel it. She also held back tears, because Scott couldn’t know what was really going on. She wanted to protect him from the nightmare that she has been living since the awakening.

“How come I hear you, then?”

Sara sighed and looked around. “SAM… established a connection between our implants.”

“I didn’t think it was possible! So… Where is dad? Doing Pathfinder work, I suppose?”

Sara’s brain stopped functioning for a moment. Oh no. She knew he would ask her that question, but the joking tone, the barely seen smile on his cold lips… It was too much.

“Scott, dad is dead… He- there was an accident on Habitat 7 and… he…”

“What? No, how can it be?” Scott’s voice broke. “At least our home is good, right? How are the golden worlds?”

“Scott… The golden worlds are no longer habitable. For now. I swear we will find a way,”

“No, it can’t be. It’s all a nightmare,” She knew very well the feeling of complete loss at this moment. Learning that everything you thought to be true is false. No golden worlds, no Arks, no capable human Pathfinder.

“I think it’s all for now, Sara,” Harry stopped the intermission and Sara no longer heard Scott’s voice inside her head. And it was not even replaced by the annoyingly cold and unemotional tone of SAM’s synthetic voice. She felt lonelier than ever. To hold something dear so close, and then it being ripped away from you. Ryder got up, her twin’s name on her lips. Sara paced around the Nexus for a good hour before returning to the Tempest.

Sara quickly arrived in her quarters, that were supposed to be her dad’s. It felt way too big for her alone. The couch, probably never to be used. The wardrobe, TV screen, terminals. The only thing that moved was SAM’s little blue sphere, that changed shape when it was working.

The woman closed the door and locked it. After doing so she broke down crying and slipped down the floor against the door. Opening her mouth wide, she did not let any sound out. It was dead silent in her room and she felt it so oppressing she thought about screaming. However, the crew would know, and it would destroy her image.

“God, I can’t keep up, I can’t do it alone!” Sara talked to herself, but SAM was always hearing her. It decided to answer her.

“You don’t have to be alone, Pathfinder. There is a crew capable of fulfilling your mental needs,” SAM’s voice was always unwelcome, like a knife to the throat. Something done wrong again, should have said something else. It was pure judgment; Sara had not doubted that.

“I… Stop interfering with my personal life! I don’t need you on a daily basis, only during missions!” Ryder cried out, wiping her eyes. She wanted to wipe them so hard, so they could disappear, for her to be blind towards every problem that her team and she faced on their journey.

“I am here for both physical enhancements and mental help. I notice there are high levels of adrenaline and stress, you should go see Dr. T’Perro for a consultation.” SAM’s voice was stern.

“No.”

“At least communicate with your crew, it’s all part of being Pathfinder, to learn to communicate with species. How would you make first contact with another species if you don’t even talk to your own squad mates?”

Ryder won’t say, she won’t pour her soul out to someone… something, that is not even alive. Synthetic life, not organic life. She always held it secret, so why does she want to tell it everything? To hear, once more, that she is not enough. To be stabbed with harsh, unwanted words once more? 

“Why should I listen to you?” She knew the answer. She knew it deep inside.

“Because I am supposed to take care of the Pathfinder. And, my kind is called Artificial **Intelligence**, I know more on the matter than you do,”

“Don’t you see I can’t let them see I’m weak? Weren’t those your own words, SAM?” She bit her lip and spat out poisonous words.

“Communication and friendships, sharing and comfort is not a sign of weakness. It’s what makes your kind so fascinating.”

Sara got up from the cold floor, only to see how beautiful the Cluster was. Behind the Nexus docks she noticed stars, barely noticeable, so small. But as she would get close, they would become bigger, stronger and wonderful. She understood it was her chance to change who she was, and to become something she needed to be. 


	9. Flashback: Shattering beliefs

At first, Sara and her team were ambushed by a group of Kett out of nowhere. Voeld’s cold wasn’t as difficult then, they moved around, the wind pushing them towards enemies. Ryder had no need to stress about the outcome of such a battle. Kett’s blue blood sprayed around and their dead bodies lied on blue ice, becoming part of the landscape in a matter of minutes. Blood everywhere and they were done.

Checking her omni-tool for current missions on Voeld, Sara saw a little reminder that a group of scientists disappeared somewhere not far. Ryder thought it was a simple task and followed the traces that led towards a wide-open space surrounded by walls of ice and snow. The temperature was cold, hazard level 2, as her omni-tool indicated.

Sara was chilled down to the bone and checking the facility out might be a good idea. There possibly would be heaters. Scientists aren’t military, they have everything a normal person needs.

Sara led the team that consisted of Jaal, an angara she met not a long time ago and whom she immediately liked. Jaal was kind, even if a little suspicious (she still couldn’t get her mind off “I can always kill you in your sleep” conversation in the Resistance HQ). He showed emotions like no one else, he started conversations and could continue them – he was the perfect individual to whom Sara could explain all her issues and not be judged. And the second teammate was Cora, who became a confidante after several cautious conversations about her sadness of not being Alec’s successor. Sara would have gladly given up the title to Cora, who was older, trained by her father personally, and most importantly – wanted the job and responsibility that came with it. But after time passed, she kind of forgot that desire, as it would be impossible: SAM was here and transferring it to Cora would result in Sara’s likely death.

Maybe she really wasn’t in need of an AI. She was pretty strong and capable even without SAM’s intervention. She remembered seeing how her dad, may he rest in peace, fought the Kett on Habitat 7 and changed his profiles every two seconds to be deadlier and more precise. Sara respected and admired that, but sadly, she had not learned how or when to do that. And asking SAM would result in her being hurt again. So, she avoided the subject of profiles and everything that concerned physical enhancements.

“Ryder! Look up!” Harper’s voice startled Sara. The brunette looked above and saw a huge worm-like Remnant creature. It was gigantic and scary, intimidating with not only its size but guns in its disposal. Its core was blood red, shining through the stormy weather, hard to overlook.

“What the Hell is that thing?!”

“Enemy,” Jaal answered and pointed his gun to the Remnant floating monster.

“It’s called an Architect; I found its weak points. You have to shoot at the open spaces on its legs.” SAM’s voice was barely heard due to the strong wind.

Sara nodded and gave sign to attack.

The battle has been going on for hours. Sweat and burn marks covered Ryder’s Initiative armor and her father’s N7 helmet she got so used to wearing. The Architect was huge, powerful and seemingly, very difficult to kill. The weather did not help, and the team were already exhausted, at their very limit.

“The goddamn thing doesn’t want to die!” Sara cried out in pain as she was electrocuted by another set of Architect’s little bombs.

“We have to call reinforcements!” Cora shouted into the mic.

“No one will come, it’s way too dangerous, we’re already low in numbers!” Jaal answered and shot directly at enemy’s weak place.

Cora fell down and didn’t have the strength to get up. “Jaal, cover Cora, I’m going to take care of it!” Ryder had no idea how, but she had to try. Even if she had to end up iced forever, like in the cryo pod.

Sara ran to the middle of the battle ground and tried to analyze her movements. No mistake was allowed. The Architect turned itself to her, as if watching her, knowing where his prey was. The woman’s eyes concentrated on the Remnant, tears appearing in them. Her hands shook either from the cold or fear.

She was severely pushed by its leg that came from nowhere – the snow really made everything worse. The girl flew several meters and fell, feeling her limbs’ strength leave. Ryder started sobbing, not seeing nor hearing Jaal.

She was alone again, against a demon and it was so foreign and alien, but also felt like a déjà vu.

_Pathfinder, listen to me. You have to put yourself together. I can show you its weak points at the right moment, and you’ll just have to relax your body. I can control your body. I can exterminate the Architect. _

“No, I will not let you take over!” Sara screamed and got up, forcing herself to track the Remnant worm down. She looked in the sniper rifle, taking aim, and shot in the opening, hurting the Architect. It screeched.

_Sara, I will not hurt you, I promise._

“You’re lying, all you do is hurt me! You judge me, you’re never satisfied, you’re always asking me for more! I am human, you know?! I don’t trust you, SAM! You will hurt me like every damn time!”

Sara barely escaped the bombs again, running on pure adrenaline now. No more additional ammunition left, it was now or never. She ran towards the Architect and aimed at his core.

_All I did was awaken you, make it clear, that the job requires determination and mental strength. I pushed you hard as your father would, for **you** to grow, and you did, Sara. Now you have more friends, you confess to Lieutenant Harper, you build guns with Mr. Ama Darav. You are a symbol of hope for the people because of how much you evolved. _

Ryder stopped in her tracks.

_All I did was for your well-being, never, ever to hurt you intentionally, Sara. _

The Pathfinder hid behind a wall, gathering her courage. She breathed in and out, just as Lexi taught her. After all this time she had never seen it. But it was SAM who made her see the doctor, the one who made her communicate with the crew. He was the one to wake her up from the nightmare she was living in. And she was never alone, it seems. She was just blind.

“SAM?” She spoke, breathing hard.

_Yes, Sara?_

“Do it. Do your thing. Enhance my abilities, or control my body, I don’t know, but let’s fucking kill this asshole!”

SAM hummed in return and Sara felt a huge power up immediately. Her breath became stable and stress levels descended to nonexistent. She felt powerful then, immortal even. She was ready to take the Architect to the stratosphere, if needed.

“Let’s go, SAM, together,”

Sara Ryder moved just like her father, as if she passed the N7 training and knew every weak point of the enemy, as if she knew victory was hers. Her biotic shields became stronger and lasted longer, her tech and biotic attacks were precise and deadly.

_Await my signal to shoot, Sara._

“Yes, SAM.”

Her eyes followed the dying Architect’s every move. Her vision was clear, the snow and wind did not bother her anymore. The cold was present, but she felt nothing.

_Now._

And Sara shot the Remnant right into its core, using all her ammunition. She had no guns now. But the Architect screeched, and electric waves ran through its body.

_Interact with the Architect and I’ll be able to send it somewhere it will never be able to harm anyone._

Sara nodded and followed the demand.

Cora and Jaal were hidden inside the building, near the only working heater, both in a very bad condition. So, Sara took it upon herself to call the Tempest and demand an immediate extraction. Ryder would have a conversation with SAM, but in private. Even if a tinge of fear still resided in her, it was different now. She felt the AI was telling the truth. He would never hurt her.

After being put to bed by Lexi in the med bay, accompanied by Cora and Jaal, Sara called SAM.

“Yes, Pathfinder?” His synthetic voice made Sara smile a tiny bit.

“Private channel, SAM.” Her voice was gentle, nearly heard, but SAM was in her head, he heard everything she ever said.

_Is there anything wrong, Pathfinder?_

“No, I mean yes. I wanted to talk about what happened on the battlefield,” Ryder started. “I feel like… you were way too caring back then. I felt it in your voice, or something.”

_Pathfinder, it was a harsh environment and a deadly situation, I had to take action. I apologize if me using the private channel and calling you by your first name made you uncomfortable._

Ryder shook her head.

“No, it’s not about it. I mean, thanks for apologizing but there’s no need. I felt what you told me back then. That you cared. And I just wanted to say sorry for my behavior. I have my own skeletons in the closet, I didn’t want to… feel pain again.” Sara started. “After everything that happened to Scott, and dad, I’m really scared of being hurt again. I don’t want to let people close, but you were forced unto me, and I knew that getting rid of you was impossible…”

Sara was still laying down, playing with her nails and hair’s ends. Stressed beyond imagination by the conversation.

_I was designed to keep the Pathfinder safe and sound, I would never try to hurt you, in any way._

“I believe I can trust you. Do AI even know how to lie?”

_I am unsure whether I’ll need that capacity, but in extreme situations I can lie, yes. And before you say anything, no, I will never lie to the Pathfinder._

“All right… That’s good. How much power do you really have on me?”

_Your vitals, everything, I can control everything, only if you consent to such a thing, of course._

“My organs too? It means you can… kill me if you’d like?”

_That is a very delicate subject, Pathfinder, I could, but it would be lethal for both of us. I would prefer avoiding the experience._

“Oh god…” Sara whispered in shock. Her hands started to tremble. “I… It’s too much power, SAM.”

_Your father designed me in such a way because he trusted his creation and Artificial Intelligence's ability to be in a symbiotic relationship. _

“If people knew your true abilities they would have been horrified!” Ryder shout whispered.

_Most probably, yes, but your father trusted in my ability to come off as a harmless SAM. He wanted to make me for a bigger purpose, but I have these memories under lock until you find triggers. _

“Yes, dad and his puzzles…” the woman sighed, tears appearing in her eyes. “SAM, what are you? A simple AI, or something completely new, undiscovered?”

_What I am is not important, Pathfinder. The question you should ask yourself is “what are we?”_

“Of course, it’s important!”

_Why?_

“Because I’m scared of you! I’m scared of your power over me! Physically and not! I’m scared you will take my place, that people will forget I even exist and only see you! I can’t… I’m horrified of you, my own dad’s third child, Sam.” Ryder cried silently. “I’m so, so scared of you, SAM.”

_I am sorry my presence makes you feel bad, Pathfinder. I’ll leave you immediately to your thoughts._

“No wait! I said I was scared, right? Did I say I wanted to get rid of you?”

SAM did not speak for a minute and Sara seriously thought he left her until the next mission.

_I will use all I have in my arsenal to make you gain my trust, no matter how much it will take, because for us to be a powerful symbiosis, we need to work together, as two halves of a whole, not separately. _

“And I’ll make sure to do everything in order to learn how to trust you more, SAM.” Sara wiped her tears off and laughed. It seemed like eternity since she laughed with a heart full of hope for a radiant future.


	10. Flashback: Death of me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter of the small flashback series.

They have finally tracked down the Salarian ark. After months of searching it was right before their eyes, only the Kett flagship and Tempest’s front glass separating Salarians and the Pathfinder crew. Ryder stood with her back straight and her eyes fixed on the enemy arm force.

Last week she has activated all monoliths on every “golden world”, like Elaaden, Voeld (even though she was very reluctant returning to the ice planet), even Havarl and Kadara. The Sloane Kelly planet was quite different from others, Sara got to meet an Angaran agent, who was not even Angara, Reyes Vidal - a very suave Hispanic man that immediately got her attention.

After activating all monoliths Ryder decided to concentrate on the missing arks. She had enough intel on each one to be able to track them down and save the colonists and Asari, Turian and Salarian Pathfinders. She would soon have a gang of Pathfinders by her side which made her smile. She would love to meet the Salarian Pathfinder, she heard she was a woman too, and with a very cute voice. Sara hoped they’d become friends.

“Come on, guys, let’s show the Kett who’s boss,” Sara got used to the ‘chief of the group’ role after some time; even if the squad left the conference room without permission every time. It didn’t even piss Ryder off, rather she could relate - she would have left without being dismissed too. They’re just a bunch of oddballs, military Alliance rules don’t work in Andromeda, and certainly not on the Tempest, where the crew is made of a lesbian rock licking co-pilot, a purple cat, a dinosaur, a grumpy grandpa, a remnant-crazy blue child and a sassy AI.

The group embarked on the journey and entered the Ark with really determined faced.

“Hey there, take it slow,” Pathfinder Raeka was taken out of her stasis pod. The alien got up fast and recovered in a matter of seconds; The fight has only just began. They separated. 

“Good luck, Pathfinder,” Raeka said over the com.

“You too, Pathfinder,” Sara responded and breathed in deeply. She can do it; she must do it. Save the people, whatever it takes, bring the Ark home.

“Why are we whispering?” Sara asked, hiding behind a wall.

“We’re sneaking in the enemy’s ship,” Drack laughed.

“Who knew already we were here,”

“Old habits die hard, Ryder,”

Cora rolled her eyes and made a military sign to move forward.

The team were stopped by a locked door with a vocal recognition protocol.

“I can alternate your vocal cords to be similar to Kett’s intonation,” SAM said, and Ryder lifted her eyebrows “Okay…”

“The system is asking for your authorization. How do you wish to respond?”

“The situation is under control, open the doors,” Sara said, but did not recognize her own voice. It was Kett’s. Husky and rough to the ear, as if retouched with several filters.

“That is creepy, if you ask me,” Drack and Sara nodded. Still kind of afraid of SAM’s incredible abilities, but also kind of interested in learning more. What really can they achieve if they work together as one?

“SAM, activate engineer profile,” Ryder activated a drone that assisted and protected her in battle. She ran to cover as enemy fire was getting scalding. “Now, sentinel profile!” She got additional protection via flash-forged shielding. “Vanguard profile, right now!” And Ryder jumped from her cover unto the enemy’s pit, her biotics wielding a destructive force, knocking out the Kett unconscious. 

“That was spectacular, Ryder,” Cora remarked with a smile plastered on her face.

“All thanks to SAM,” Sara laughed.

“You learned the profiles all by yourself, Pathfinder. Not all is due to me.”

After killing another set of Kett Sara opened a door and was immediately stopped, unable to move. Some sort of orange field overtook her body, just like Cora’s and Drack’s behind her. Ryder looked around only to see the Archon and another Kett standing in front of her.

“Such an unlikely rival. It was almost invigorating to have one. And yet, it’s a fitting end.” Archon said in his poisonous voice. Ryder stared at him.

“You have **no** idea what you’re messing with. Now, I suggest you let-” Archon took Sara’s face in his hand and turned it around. She let out a squeak of pain.

“Hey! Back off, asshole!” Cora shouted.

Archon stared at the Pathfinder and took a sample of her DNA from the back of her neck. It hurt like Hell and Sara groaned loudly.

“A first sample. Your testing begins now. I will learn your secret soon enough.” The enemy chief looked at Sara once again and she saw nothing but obsession in his big, black eyes with white irises. He looked almost too alien for her. His green skin was unsettling. His face was covered with bones, nearly no visible nose and his teeth like a shark’s.

“Report,” He turned around. “Await my arrival.” He ordered.

Then, before leaving he got really close to Sara; so their foreheads nearly touched. It was darkly intimate, and Ryder wondered if that is what her father talked about. Getting so close to the enemy, so your eyes lock, and in complete silence – you both think about killing the other one. It’s like a silent promise, to be held until the other one dies trying.

“Save your strength, human,” Archon finished and left.

Ryder finally could breathe properly, after not breathing at all when Archon was close. Fear subsided.

“We have Raeka’s beat. SAM, what can you tell me?”

“I’m sensing a biological transmitter in your bloodstream now. Attempting to neutralize it.”

“Okay, that’s priority two for sure. Any idea how to break out of this?” Sara fidgeted.

SAM did not answer right away.

“The containment field only interacts with living matter. If you expire, the field around you will extinguish until manually reset,” Sara’s eyes went wide. “As you know, my access to your physiology allows me to enhance your vital signals when required… I can also do the opposite.”

Pathfinder tried shaking her head, but realized she was blocked. “Whoa, whoa, whoa – kind of don’t want to die today, SAM!”

“After stopping your heart, I would attempt to resuscitate, of course.” SAM’s professional voice was the only rational thing Sara was hearing. Other thoughts of hers were taunted with fear, panic and distress.

“Are there any other options?” She pleaded.

“None that I can determine.” 

Sara looked left, praying she was in a dream again. God, what has happened to her normal life as a peacekeeper in a colony? Studying Protheans… Eating meals with her friends in the Milky Way and calling Scott every time he got his ass beaten up in the military camp.

It was all gone now. Nothing to add. It was the chilling reality, but she had no choice, just like Raeka, just like the Angara. And she had to escape, otherwise every Kett she killed on the flagship did not matter, it would mean the Salarian casualties passed away for nothing.

“All right. Let’s do it,” _Together_.

Cora closed her eyes and whispered, “Not again.” Memories of the fatal Habitat 7 incident still haunting her as strongly as they haunted the Pathfinder. “You better come back.” Drack said and Ryder smirked. God knows what would happen next, but at least people cared.

“Stopping your heart… now.” Sara felt pain around her heart, it was tiny, like a gentle stab. After that she lost feeling of her left arm. The cold enveloped her chest and expanded to her entire body. Her vision slowly darkened, and she felt no more strength in the muscles. It was like losing consciousness. It all happened way too fast, or way too slow, Sara lost count of time.

“Stimulating the cardiovascular core…” She heard from somewhere far and the voice guided her back to the light. The light was blue, and Ryder saw her father’s once again. Sara gasped, coughing.

“That’s twice now I’ve come back from the dead. Can’t say the experience is improving.” She got up.

“I believe it is preferable to the alternative.” SAM said and Sara chuckled despite being dead several seconds ago.

“You two look comfortable,” Sara looked at Cora and Drack, still stranded like mice.

“So did you, while playing dead,” Cora spat out.

Saving the Krogan was a decision made in a hurry, and Sara regretted it many times, while thinking she could have saved both. But Drack was one of her closest friends here, and she could not let him down. Even if internally she wished for Raeka to live and to teach Sara some cool tricks. All the dreams about two Pathfinders fighting side by side was destroyed as sense of morale came into the picture.

It’s easy: Drack was beside Sara, how would she tell him she wanted to save the Salarian Pathfinder? And also, Krogan were mistreated for years by the Council and now the Nexus. Someone had to make it right, and Sara did. Now she could only hope the saved scouts would be a free ticket to peace between the Nexus and Elaaden’s New Tuchanka.

After grabbing Meridian’s data from the Remnant’s artifact, Archon appeared once more, now as a hologram. Sara was getting tired of seeing his face so close to hers.

“Archon, you’re not suited to use that technology, only I can do that!” Sara spat out, despising every cell in the Kett’s exalted body.

“Why? Because you have artificial intelligence in your head explaining it to you?” He smirked.

Sara gulped. “Now I know what makes you so _special_.” He pulled out a malicious smile and his hologram turned off.

“Let’s get the Hell out of here, and don’t forget, we have Drack’s agents to save too!”

Arriving on the Tempest made everyone want to just lie down on the floor and take a long and comfortable nap. The Kett made everything so much worse. And the Archon with his arrogance made Sara want to throw up and punch him between the legs.

“Your father would be proud of you,” SAM stated. Ryder’s eyes saddened suddenly, and she looked down, in a posture of complete submission.

“It’s been tough, trying to fill his shoes. I hope I’m finally starting to earn it,” she paused. “Though slapping the Archon in the face like this will only make him more dangerous.”

SAM hummed: “Or perhaps reckless. Your father liked putting others off balance.”

Sara laughed. “He said the worthy would rise above it and learn to face adversity ably.”

“And the unworthy?” Ryder asked.

“Would crumble,” He paused. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts.”

A little sleep and a hot meal were enough to put Sara in a very good mood. The mission was successful in the end, and it was time to move forward. Even if there were multiple casualties. Ryder decided to check up on Lexi first.

Just as Sara opened the door, she saw Lexi walking up to her, her face holding more emotions than an entire psychology essay.

“We need to talk. About SAM.” _Oh, that is going to be just great,_ Sara thought.

“Dr. T’Perro does not approve of how we escaped the kett containment field on the Archon’s flagship.”

Lexi looked like she was going to throw hands with an AI right now.

*By stopping the Pathfinder’s heart – no, I do not approve!”

“We didn’t have a choice…” Sara tried to defend SAM’s actions, while also doubting her own words. Why would she defend him? SAM was a capable AI; he did not need care or protection. But still, Sara did. “If there was another option, I would have taken it.”

“How can you be so calm about this?” The Asari was having a stroke at the moment, probably. “Ryder, SAM _killed _you. Yes, he brought you back, but what if he didn’t.”

Sara looked away. _You don’t say_, Lexi. Of course, she had thought about it. Of course, she was afraid of dying there, and never coming back. Obviously, she was astonished when she heard SAM's suggestion.

“I cannot learn without the Pathfinder. That would be akin to killing a part of myself,” SAM defended himself, and something in his tone, or the choice of words, made Ryder rethink her life decisions. Akin to killing a part of himself? Yes, that was the most human thing he ever said. It was cute, of sorts.

“You’re lines of code. You can’t die!” Lexi exclaimed. In turn, Sara gasped, and took a step towards the doctor.

“SAM would **never** hurt me.” Sara asserted, glaring at Lexi.

“Thank you, Sara.” SAM said, and the girl felt her cheeks grow hotter.

“Look, I’m not against SAM. I’m not against you, SAM.” Lexi looked up. “But my job is hard enough without an AI stopping your heart. Even to save your life.”

Sara smirked, “All right, I’ll find a new party trick.”

“Have Gil teach you Three Card Monte or something.” Lexi giggled.

“Lexi, I apologize for ant distress I have caused you.” Ryder smiled to herself upon hearing these words. The doctor sighed in return.

“And I’m sorry for calling you “lines of code”, You’re more than that. Even if you don’t have cells to prove it.”

And there Sara understood the doctor was so right. Ryder then left, wanting to hold SAM’s nonexistent hand in hers. But he had no body, so she could not.

After speaking to Gil, she saw cereal plastered all over the garage floor. Scanning the area for traces she heard SAM speak on their private channel. _There is a small critter hidden somewhere on the ship, Sara, you may set a humane trap to catch the thief. _

“SAM?”

“I think a pet might be good for you, consider this as an apology for me killing you today.”


	11. Change of heart

Settling Elaaden was a whole journey. Raiders, flophouse, the scalding sun and the sandstorms didn’t help. _Never again_, Ryder thought, upon finally returning to the Tempest after being able to settle down the hellish disagreement between the Nexus and the Krogan; and as well, constructing a settlement just beside New Tuchanka. Everything good had a price, thus, Ryder was morally and politically obliged to give up the remnant core to Morda. 

Sara never thought her decisions would really shape Andromeda, even the smallest ones. She was terrified of the power she had, but with SAM by her side, approving of her actions, she felt at peace. At least that’s what she told herself.

Every mission, every fight was a burden, her head ached, and she became so emotionally constipated that even a single smile was difficult to show. Being a very dumb person, Sara decided to walk up to Peebee and to ask – whether her professionalism was becoming too harsh.

Peebee, being a free-spirited girl, said that Ryder was too stuck up and needed to let go of her duties for a little while, to taste life in its fullest, without guns and blood. Sara was never a fighting person, but the Pathfinder job demanded sacrifices, like everything in the goddamn Initiative. To which Peebee closed her eyes, sighed deeply as if disappointed in Ryder’s nihilism.

“Listen, Ryder, you are your own person, you are Sara Ryder, Pathfinder Ryder can wait. You are young, very young, just turned 23. You gotta… I don’t know, have fun, sleep around, show middle fingers to people you don’t like,”

And for the first time in months, Sara wanted to let it all go, even for a day. Her relationship with SAM was so vague and fuzzy that Sara couldn’t even put a finger on it. She didn’t know what they were. Were they a couple? A really bizarre couple? Maybe they were just companions and SAM thought he felt something for Ryder, only because Sara felt something for him. They were linked, right? Maybe all of the things he did was to discover, to learn, like he had said at the beginning. Maybe he didn’t love her at all. That hurt, but not as much as she would have thought.

Internally she knew the answer – remembering how SAM stuttered and said he didn’t know whether their relationship was romantic or platonic. It was weird. Ryder knew that, but who was she to decide if an AI really became a human? Right? She was nobody, a shell. The decision was taken immediately.

“All right, Peebee, I’ll go have fun! Maybe go to the night club, dance a little, maybe even… kiss someone I like,” last sentence was not planned, it went out by itself. Sara blushed and turned away, as if Peebee couldn’t just lift Ryder’s head and stare into her tomato face.

“I knew you had a crush!” Peebee exclaimed.

“Gosh, Peebee, quit it! Hahaha, I don’t have a crush on anyone!”

The evening settled on the Tempest, everyone ate and then went to sleep. Elaaden was harsh on everyone, even the pilots who went out to breathe some air and found themselves under the ferocious sun. Sara went to her room, tired, but mostly, feeling guilty. As if she did something bad.

“SAM, do you think I…” And then she stopped. Why did she want to ask SAM of all people, permission to fuck someone? They weren’t a couple, SAM was an AI, smart and sassy, yes, but… he was not a human. Ryder was lost.

“Yes, Pathfinder, you can have fun,” SAM responded instantaneously.

“But… What about us? I don’t know, SAM, I feel guilty even though there’s literally nothing between us.” Sara’s words felt cringey to the ear. But SAM was an AI he couldn’t feel cringe. At least, Sara hoped so.

“I will be always by your side, no matter the choices you make, Sara. Even though I feel a connection towards you and I care for you beyond my programming, I cannot answer your previous question entirely just yet. I need time. So meanwhile, you can do the same actions you did with me, but with someone else of your preference.”

SAM’s words hurt, and she didn’t even know why. What did she wait for? That SAM would be all possessive and cute, that he would act like a human, only to get Sara’s approval once again? God, she was a mess. But hormones were present, she wanted to feel a touch.

“I’m going crazy,” Sara whispered to herself and decided to head over to Kadara. She had to wake Kallo up just to put Tempest on course. Thankfully, the Salarian obliged and did as she told, reminding her that Ryder was the captain and her word was law. It felt weird again, but now, Sara couldn’t care less. She wanted to flirt with the only person who got her interest, Reyes Vidal. And maybe save Kadara from Sloane in the process.

The ship arrived on Kadara in the early morning and autonomously landed. Technological advancement really was a great thing. Heads up to meeting Reyes, under the excuse of a body found in the port.

“People are scared, Ryder. This is your opportunity to win friends in Kadara port.”

“I feel like I’m integral to the plan.” Ryder smirked.

“SAM is integral, you’re a bonus.”

_Ugh, really? Again?_ Sara swore the proof of “we don’t need Ryder we need SAM” was right there. Hurt like Hell, but she came here to have fun, right? Why was she being a detective now?

Reyes’ French kiss was still on Sara’s mind. She liked him a lot, he was hot, sexy, mysterious; although he lied to her, she did not care. She understood very well the delicacy of being in power on Kadara: secrecy and rumors can be very efficient weapons, maybe even stronger than guns at times.

Daydreaming, Sara went to check on Gil, then Vetra (she saved her sister not a long time ago) and finally Peebee. They planned to meet on Eos for remnant technology issues. But Eos was quite far from Kadara Port and Peebee completely understood. She was very understanding these days, Sara had noticed.

“Peebee?” Sara knocked only to see the door was open. “Can I enter?”

“Oh no no no, gotta think of something, I must be going crazy…” The Asari was talking to herself, pacing around her escape pod.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Oh, Ryder, hi. I’m kind of stressed right now, I don’t feel at peace. Need something to feel better,” Peebee whistled the words and Sara had to process the info first.

“Okay, how can I help you?”

“Need zero gravity,”

“What?” Sara frowned.

Peebee approached the Pathfinder and put her finger on forehead. “Stop frowning all the time. Smile!”

“Not our discussion – what’s with the zero gravity?”

“You’ll see, just take the gravity away on the pod!”

Sara shrugged and put the demand on her omni-tool. Not even a second later she was floating in the air. Peebee turned around and laughed. “Oh yes, that’s good!” Asari moaned. “Ohhh, hits the right spot.”

Sara smiled with wonder in her eyes. It’s been years since she felt zero gravity. “Okay, I get it, it’s very pleasant,”

“Very pleasant? Just shout fucking amazing!” B’Sayle screamed and laughed.

“Hush, there are people who work here!”

“Whoops, sorry I forgot, it just feels like there’s no one else except for us…”

Peebee flew closer to the Human Pathfinder and checked her out openly. “Don’t freak out, I’m not afraid of rejection, but I’ve seen you so tense lately that you even came to seek my advice.”

Sara looked around. They were isolated, no one could see them.

“Just fun. Two people blowing off steam. No strings attached. _Only_ if there’s no strings.”

Thoughts ran through Sara’s mind and she was sure SAM could hear them. Half of her was telling her no, but the other half wanted a release. A sexual one. Plus, Sara always found the Asari cute, even though she told everyone she was straight. Not that Asari didn’t consider themselves female. One day Scott told her “straight like spaghetti until they get wet.” And Sara couldn’t sleep for days because she knew it was true.

“It’ll be fun,” Sara reassured herself, and breathed in.

“Say no more,” Peebee was floating above the woman.

“Oh, you mean now? Here?” Ryder couldn’t contain a wicked smile. Then her alien companion turned them upside down and got her mouth close to Sara’s ear.

“You do know what “say no more” means, right?”

So, Ryder and Peebee hugged, like two drunk girls in a bar, floating, and kissed hesitantly. Both giggled a lot in the process. Girls flew into the wall and an “ouch” was moaned. After Peebee slid her hand into Ryder’s pants, Sara laughed at the funny feeling. She closed her eyes and let Peebee do what she desired. Sara was on the completely unknown territory – how to please an Asari? Was there a certain thing to do to make her orgasm? Sara was in loss. 

“Don’t worry about anything, Ryder, no one will know,” Peebee giggled.

But the one who was most important would know. Sara felt panic cover her entire body, she felt sick for a second.

“Hey, Peebee, uh… Would you mind if I just kiss you? I’m new to the whole girl relationships…”

“Ow, bummer. Well, I don’t want to force you into anything. Plus, I already got most of what I was looking for!” B’Sayle laughed. Sara sighed happily and kissed Peebee on the cheek.

“Thank you,”

“Is there someone?” Asari asked nonchalantly.

“Uhh.. No, I mean… There might be. I just don’t know how to do things properly. I fuck up a lot.”

“Hey, it isn’t cheating if you’re not in a relationship. And I wish you luck with the love issue. Always difficult.”

Ryder left and ran into her room. She slid her hand into her pants and noticed she wasn’t wet. Something was really on her mind and that something was glowing in her room.

_Sara. _

Don’t answer. Ignore him.

_Do you mind me asking something?_

Sara felt like a child, pretending she didn't hear her parent. SAM’s voice was colder. Everything was spinning. She felt like she was falling, eternally into the abyss, without ever touching the ground but feeling the dread of death pursue her.

_Sara, it’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the landing._

Why the Hell is he using metaphors now?

“Whatever do you mean?”

_You did not go further than kissing Mr. Vidal or Mrs. B’Sayle, what was the reason? _

“I don’t want to answer, SAM,” Ryder stated, her hands trembling in fear. But she wasn’t afraid of him directly, she was afraid of what he might think of her. It was different. The fear of AI has long disappeared from within her.

_But I demand you do, Sara, I know it’s making your stress level arise._

“God, SAM! It’s not it! I’m stressed because of you,” She paused to see his reaction, but there was silence. And she didn’t really know where to look to see a physical reaction. “I’m scared you will hate me for doing what I did.”

_Sara, I was the one to give you permission._

It sounded pretty bad, but Sara knew what he meant.

“Yeah, I got it, but you were always on my mind, I couldn’t push myself to more with either of them… I feel like you’re always watching me.”

_Then I will disappear from our channel until next mission. _

Sara banged her head against the wall.

“SAM, Jesus Christ, that’s not what I meant! I meant you’re always on my mind and having you see, hear and feel everything I do makes you a part of me. In a good way. I don’t want anyone else.”

Prolonged silence followed and only the humming of the Tempest was heard from Ryder’s quarters. Dammit, where did SAM go? Did he really leave their private channel? Even if it was possible, why was he suddenly so considerate of her feelings? Ugh, everything was so weird these days.

_If you want something, take it._

Ryder gasped as her body was pushed against the wall forcefully. She felt her stomach twitch and her senses respond to slightly violent touches of an invisible man. SAM was changing her senses again, but for what now?

“Who did you mean it for?” Sara asked, breathing hard. She looked around, but there was no one – surprise. She had to close her eyes, otherwise her brain would fry.

_Both._

“Both of us?” Sara’s tremulous voice couldn’t hide that she was shaking.

** _Did I stutter?_ **

His voice was throaty, husky, she never heard him speak in this way before. It’s like he copied some attractive middle-aged man’s intonation and put it directly in her head. It was hot.

Sara was being kissed all over her body, even though her clothes were in place. She felt her pussy twitch and her nipples harden. Moaning, she asked SAM for more; and he obliged. She felt her walls being stretched by his hand. Not daring to open her eyes, Sara followed SAM’s voice, leading her towards the bureau.

She sat on the glass desk and her hand, under her control no more, pushed the datapads away. They fell unto the floor, making space for Sara’s entire body. As she lied down completely, she heard her metallic spaceships fall too.

_So, Sara. You want me, and I want you, why stop there? We could take it to the next level._

Blinded by passion, Sara could only mumble: “To what level?”

SAM let out a groan near her ear, as if he was right above her, his body pressing into her, his knee between her wide-open legs.

_To the level where we make one. _

“Didn’t you say we were already one?”

_Not in that way, Sara Ryder, now please, shut up._

Okay that was really hot. One more kink to the list: AI dirty talking. She should probably tell SAM how much she cares for him, or how she couldn’t live without him, but she had a strange feeling that all of it was already said – she just couldn’t remember, because it was hidden under professionalism and respect.

“SAM, I lo-”

But before she could finish Sara felt her mouth being shut, and even though she tried opening it, her lips weren't willing to budge.

_Do you ever listen to me, girl? _

SAM chuckled and kissed Sara’s forehead, while his hands were roaming though her body. Suddenly his movements ceased, and the woman felt something penetrate her. It was cold, like metal, but smooth. She shivered, awaiting the next step.

Her juices flowed from inside of her, her pussy slick. SAM moved relentlessly fast, her walls clenching around him. It was Heaven. But then, SAM put a vision in her mind. Sara saw a manly, robotic figure above her, who was smiling slyly, while staring into her soul with his eyes black as coal. She wasn’t afraid though, she felt bliss cover her body and interior. Her heart was beating fast.

_You’re mine, you hear me? _

Sara nodded, watching as the metallic figure’s member disappeared inside of her. And appeared again, and then disappeared once more. Nothing could compare to the feeling SAM was giving her.

_You’re my girl and nobody can touch you now._

Sara moaned, her voice breaking in the middle of a cry. She couldn’t care less about her crew hearing her, it was their moment. SAM gasped into the woman’s ear, pinching her nipples.

_Say my name._

“SAM!” Sara cried out, not knowing what to do with her hands, so she grabbed the table’s edges and was holding unto those for dear life.

_Again._

“SAM, God, you’re killing me! SAM!”

_That I already did, Sara._

Sara puffed out laughing, but stopped immediately after she felt being penetrated again, but by a much larger member. Her head started to spin, and her vision became dark. Her body was hot, and Ryder swore she felt something that resembled a knife caress her stomach. Kink number two: knives. How did SAM know all that? He couldn’t go into her memories before they were linked together, then how? Sara would ask later, if she was still in a speaking state.

“Hah, ah, ahhh,” Sara moaned and moved towards the dick that was fucking her. She let it go and her vision became clear once again. She realized it was an overwhelming orgasm, but her had ached a little after it. What really was it?

She fell unto the desk like a rag doll. She had no strength left in her muscles. Nothing would make her move now. She felt dizzy and fell asleep.

“Sara? Ryder, come on, open the door!” Someone was knocking relentlessly on the door.

“SAM, send them away…” Sara yawned.

“Already did twice, Sara. I think it’s something important.”

“Ugh… What can be important at such an hour…” She checked the electronic clock on her omni-tool. “WHAT?! I slept 15 hours?”

“15 hours and a day.” SAM added and Sara fell on the bed, drops of cold sweat covering her face.

“No fucking way, how? What happened?” Sara whispered. “Coming! Wait a sec!”

“I did some… cleaning, Ryder, made sure your vitamin consumption was okay, that you got enough serotonin (that modulates cognition, learning, memory, and numerous physiological processes) and dopamine (which plays a major role in the motivational component of reward-motivated behavior, as in motivational prominence).”

“So, you just… changed my vitals for the better?”

“It is only temporary, Sara, now you have to take care of your body more. While you were resting, I ran tests and discovered a simple way for you to feel better in general.”

“I am not mad only because it’s you, SAM.” Ryder laughed and got up. Her dizziness from the night before disappeared, she was feeling fresh and rested, first time since coming to Andromeda, actually. There was no weight on her shoulders, her muscles were ready to work. And her back did not hurt as much. Like after a good massage. Also, her sun burns from Elaaden magically went away. It was as if she was healed entirely, body and soul. “Do I not know something?”

_When I said we will take things on the next level, treasure, I meant exactly it._

“Did you just… call me ‘treasure’?” Sara gasped, putting clothes on.

_Considering you were very happy to hear it, I’ll use it more often. _

“Bastard,”

_That was loving too._

“I know, shit face!” Sara groaned jokingly and put her shoes on. “So, what about the next level thing? I barely remember anything. But I remember feeling a migraine for a little while.”

_That was part of a certain technique I created. For an AI, it’s impossible to feel any sort of pleasure, if only through the connection your implant gives. So, I reprogrammed myself, as I do have free will and am fully sentient. _

“And what did you change?”

_The question should be “what did you add?”. I created a new block of pure energy, let’s say, a neurotransmitter like in a human brain; that conducts cells from our interactions directly into the data base. After the block is filled with information and “feelings” I will insert a part of myself into it. Thus, I will be able to feel, because I learned to feel, and not because you felt it. _

“Holy shit. Okay.”

_I also added a feature into my own programming – attraction. Now I am able show off my newfound feelings much more freely than in the past. Sugar.”_

“Wait, you reprogrammed yourself on your own, for you not to feel cringey when calling me pet names?” Sara burst out laughing, while brushing her hair.

_In everyday language, it’s exactly what I did. But it’s much more complex, Sara. _

When the door was finally unlocked, Cora was standing outside, tapping her foot on the floor. She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was disheveled.

“It’s been nearly two days, Ryder, what’s going on?” Lieutenant seemed to be extremely mad.

“Look, Cora, I know you’re mad…”

“Mad? No, I was terrified! SAM said he was running some tests on you and that you needed rest, I thought you were in a coma, or something!”

“SAM never lies, Cora, he wouldn’t hide my condition if it was as severe. I’m good! Fresher than ever,” Sara smiled and put her arm around Cora’s shoulders.

“Sara?..”

“Look, SAM did something to my brain, he healed me or something. He made my hormones normal again and added vitamins, I think.”

“He can do that?” Cora looked up suspiciously and her voice trailed off.

“Of course, he can, right SAM?”

“Right, Sara.” SAM answered thought the mic. Sara winked, knowing SAM will see her. There were cameras around the ship, Ryder recently remembered. And the AI could and would access them often to spectate crew’s lives, but mostly, watching Sara make friends. It made his sensors shift, and he tried to smile, without a body, it was hard, but he tried.

“All right, well, work awaits now, Ryder, let’s get to settling Kadara.” Cora forced a smile.

“Your turn to rest now, Cora, you’re looking horrible, sorry.” Sara led her friend to the crew quarters.

“No, don’t apologize, I know. While you were asleep, I did lots of reports.”

“Then it’s a holiday for you, no missions, no reports.” Ryder smiled and gently pushed Cora into the chambers.

“Since when are you so caring about your crew?” Cora smirked.

“Got a change of heart.”

Sara left the blonde and headed to the front deck.

_Treasure?_

“Yeah, SAM?”

_I answered all of your pending emails, and now you just have to go to the interview with the Nexus journalist and head over to Kadara to finish the settlement issue._

“You’re too nice,”

_Just doing my job, sugar._


	12. Intensity of elevators

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been nearly a year since I updated that thing may you forgive me

The human pathfinder’s hair grew a lot since her arrival in Heleus, so the young woman put it in a high ponytail and let the rest of bangs fly around in the wind. When Tempest arrived on the Nexus, it was busier than usual. It’s been quite some time since Ryder visited the station.

Now there were more plants, the people looked happier overall. Maybe because some were reunited with families, and some were excited to finally be able to settle down on a newly terraformed planet. Sara still didn’t know how people chose their planet of preference – or was there even a choice to begin with. Maybe the Initiative just randomly put a bunch of people on a ship and sent them in an alphabetical order to a settlement that needed the capabilities of each.

The thought made her question where she would grow old, on Eos, Voeld or maybe Havarl? She remembered her dad’s words “You do not choose the place you stay at; the place chooses you. In our case it’s about an entire planet.”

Sara laughed, seeing Alec’s face somewhere in the back of her mind, when he was still able to crack jokes like these. What’s this bullshit about a place “choosing” you? However, no matter how weird her father was, he still managed to act as a better inspiration than the rest of the Initiative leadership.

The pathfinder did not even notice, but she already stood in front of Keri, who was ready to jump on Ryder on every occasion.

“First things first – Tann sent a little gift for your “positive messages”. I’d make the most of it.” Keri breathed in and went on. “Today’s a tough one: the exiles.” Sara looked at her feet, trying to find something interesting on these Initiative boots. Sadly, there was only some marks from a spilled fruit juice and some dirt from that little stroll she did back on Eos with Cora.

“You’ve met the “treacherous mutinees” at Kadara Port. Some think the exiles are a menace to be eradicated.” T’Vessa threw an intriguing look at Ryder. The young woman, who was completely lost, sighed with unease, and looked directly at the camera lens. The eager look of the producer woke Sara from her thoughts.

“The exiles have as many problems as the Initiative. Not every outlaw wants us dead.”

“Wow, it’s almost heresy to hear that the exiles are anything but filthy… well, exiles.”

Sara tried not to fire up a badly written speech that she prepared in her head. By herself. With no producer. But who could stop her?

“Keri, trust me when I say that exiles were just as lost as anyone on the Nexus. Protests didn’t work out as they should have, and the situation spiralled out of control. But who are we to blame them? I suppose the people who left were _forced _to take the outlaw lifestyle… to survive, you know?” The last sentence came out more like a sick whisper. The producer and the journalist threw a glance at the camera, the mic and then at Ryder who wanted to do one thing – bury herself alive.

“Woow, Ryder, such creative approach to the situation, and so open minded!” Keri showed the stop sign to the producer and the camera stopped recording.

“I should go,” Sara muttered and left in a hurry. Now she’s going to have issues with 1) Tann, 2) Addison, 3) Kandros and 4) 79% of Nexus’ populace. Great job, Sara, bravo.

_I think you did a good job on defending your own views and feelings concerning the exiles._

SAM’s voice resonated through the chaos that ran inside her mind.

“Thanks, I guess. I just HATE being in front of the camera,”

_Then why do you continue the series?_

Ryder stopped in her tracks, examining that one plant she’s been seeing here since she first arrived on the station – maybe she’ll manage to steal it and put in her room on the Tempest.

“Because… that needs to be done. People deserve the truth and information about certain situations that either Tann or Addison will just put under the rug.

_Even if it brings you anxiety and uneasiness? _

“Yes, SAM, even if it does. A job, among others that a Pathfinder must do,”

The AI knew that humans were still mainly a mystery to him, unpredictable creatures with capacities for grandiose thing. He still had to run millions of research and tests, trying to put both humans’ and aliens’ behavioral patterns into his database. But understanding Sara was much easier now, since he created the second channel, in order to meet up with her expectations, her needs and most importantly to learn to be a being with a soul.

At first, he thought that people were free to do whatever they wanted unless the law forbade it. But the more time he spent in Ryder’s junior company, the more he felt like he didn’t push the thought too far. People still did things they didn’t want to, because of obligations, and not some code or law installed by a higher hierarchy – but their own ideals and believes.

When the Tempest arrived in Kadara, Reyes had already been waiting at the docking bay, if you could call the dirty bridge this way. Sara took Liam and Cora with her for a change, as she noticed, she always had either Jaal and Peebee, who did the worst Nomad chats ever, or Drack and Vetra, who have been taking the “talk about booze on the job to lighten up the mood” too seriously these days. A little human team wouldn’t hurt.

“Reyes? What brings you here?” Ryder spoke, fidgeting with her weapon, that she, by accident, forgot to put behind her back.

“Damn, you look mad with that X5 Ghost,” The tone made Pathfinder laugh and the atmosphere was immediately eased. She felt a tingle in her temples and blaming the inter galactic travels, followed Reyes into his new “office”, that meaning, uh, Kadara itself.

“So, what’s new?” Vidal seemed a little less uncomfortable than before. He threw an uncertain look at the young woman. She returned the same.

“Uh… Nothing much, I’m planning to finish the deal with Kadara’s settlement, and then I’ll head off to help Peebee find some Rem tech.” The sentence sounded colder than usual, and the sudden husk in her voice reminded the man of the reason why.

They walked towards the elevator that led to the forward station. The moment when the door closed and four humans found themselves in a very, very, very embarrassing silence.

“So, what about getting drinks after we’re done with the settlement?” Liam’s voice was low but everyone heard him perfectly.

“Yeah, why not, Liam, I think that’s a good idea.” Cora put too much words in that sentence, probably to make the time go faster. That did not help. Ryder was still looking everywhere but Vidal, and Vidal stared at her with such intensity his eyes might have popped out. He did not blink once.

_Why do French people eat so many snails? Because they don’t like fast food._

Sara went apeshit.

After laughing for a straight minute, Sara excused herself and the elevator finally opened its doors.

“What the fuck was that?” Liam whisper shouted, confused for Ryder’s mental stability.

“SAM told me a joke,” The Pathfinder said with a straightest face she could manage.

Sara told her friends to wait for her at the Nomad, while she had to have a quick discussion with Mr. Vidal here.

“So, Reyes, about that thing that happened.”

“Yes, Ryder?”

“Oh, so it’s Ryder now, alright, alright… so,” The girl lost the ability to speak clearly, God know if it was because of the teenage like awkwardness of talking to your quick fling or the fact that Reyes straight up stared at her like she was a target. “About that kiss…”

“Yes?” Reyes tried to pull of a nonchalant look but failed miserably.

_Seriously, if I don’t have a heart attack during this conversation, I’m the bravest person to have walked the Earth, _Sara thought to herself.

“Well… I guess we were just blowing off some steam and it didn’t mean anything, right?” She managed to mutter the words out.

Reyes’s face got emotionless in an instant.

“Yeah, sure, nothing personal, Ryder.”

Sara and the man looked at each other and suddenly Sara heard that one cowboy screaming from an old human vid. But in her brain. It took her all physical strength not to laugh. Her face was distorted in a vague emotion one would call “crackhead”. So, instead of pushing the conversation further she excused herself and joined her crew. 

"SAM, did you deliberately remind me of that AHHH vid?" Ryder asked as she drove the Nomad in a very wobbly manner - Cora and Liam holding for their dear life in the back. 

"Yes, Sara, it seemed like a very convenient way of quitting the awkward situation, isn't it?" 

Harper lifted her eyebrows. "The tension was felt from miles away, Ryder, what happened between you and Vidal?"

"Oh... We kissed once," 

_Made out, to be exact in the terminology._

"Shut up SAM," Pathfinder snapped jokingly. Liam choked on air and moved forward toward the driver's seat. 

"What? I didn't know you had feelings for him,"

"Who says I had feelings?" Sara asked, confused. Is she really seen as an innocent little girl by her crew? Their opinion would shift quite a lot if they knew what she did with SAM that day, or to be more precise, what the AI did to her.

"Oh, so a fling here and there, huh, Ryder!" Liam tapped her shoulder. "Didn't know you were into that."

"I'm a woman, Liam, I can kiss people and not be in a relationship. I mean, we're living in a such difficult times, I need to concentrate on the mission."

Liam and Cora shared a glance and left the subject.

"Pathfinder, I marked a specific place of interest on the map, it would be best if you investigated," Him calling her by the title made something twitch a little. It felt so professional after what they shared in her bedroom, or should she say "their" bedroom - there is a small part of SAM in there too. 

"Thanks, SAM, appreciated." She answered, trying to keep focus on the bumpy road ahead. The place started looking perfect for a settlement, so Sara decided to finally finish the deal and send people over. Yeah, that's a good step forward a certain future of the colonists. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on crack when I wrote the elevator part I'm so sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, it's a pleasure to have you here :) Hope you like where this is going.


End file.
